On “mommy wars” and listening to your own voice

mommy wars, hln, raising america

Earlier this week, I was invited to be part of a series  on HLN’s Raising America show about finding peace in the so-called “mommy wars.”

As you can imagine, for a wordy gal like me a 3-minute segment is not nearly enough time to express all my thoughts on a big issue like motherhood and judgment, especially when you aren’t exactly sure how the topic will be presented ahead of time. So I went into a lot more detail about my feelings about the recent articles on moms, ambition, “retro” motherhood, and work that have been dominating the media lately in a post at Babble.

From the post:

There will always be loud voices telling us what we should or shouldn’t do. Those loud voices start to seem even louder, and more important, when amplified by a thousand magazine articles or blog posts.

But those voices are usually not the ones that matter.

Look at your community. Are the people you spend time with smart, strong, and inspiring? Do they understand you? Are their goals similar to yours? What about your family and friends? Do they appreciate you for who you are and the contributions you make? What about your own inner voice? Does it know how to write its own definition of success?

Those are the voices we need to listen to most. It’s not about wars or battles, or her versus she. It’s about figuring out who you really want to be in this world and not wasting time worrying about what anyone else wants you to be.

Read the entire post at my Babble column, At Large.

You can also watch my appearance on HLN’s Raising America with Kyra Phillips below (if you’re reading this in your email or via RSS, click here to watch the video):

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