In case you’re wondering why today’s Mindful Monday post is later than usual, it’s because I’ve spent much of the afternoon lying in bed. My kids were slammed with a stomach virus over the weekend, and while I’m not violently ill like they were, I’m definitely not feeling up to par.
But maybe it’s not a virus at all. Maybe I’m just tired. It’s been a full couple of months, after all, between traveling, a busy writing schedule, and new exercise and eating habits.
I’m a work-hard, play-hard kind of person. But I don’t always remember to rest hard.
Clara is snoozing in my bed next to me in her PJ top (she lost the bottoms an hour or two ago, when she decided to paste temporary tattoos all over her legs, which I let her do because it bought me a few minutes with my eyes shut.) The boys are watching TV, wrapped in blankets, in various stages of undress. And I am letting go of my to-do list and my expectations of myself and taking it easy.
Maybe I’ll hunker down with Clara and take a catnap. Maybe I’ll watch a few episodes of Storage Wars with the boys, reclined on the sofa in my yoga pants and bathrobe. Maybe I’ll ignore the doorbell and the phone. Maybe I’ll let the laundry pile up on the floor.
Maybe I’ll stay this way for a few days.
Deciding to ease up on some of the details of my day to day life can feel both freeing and a little bit panic-inducing. After all, I wonder, what might happen if I don’t keep up with it all?
Well, then, what WILL happen? For a few days, what will happen if I make sandwiches and mac and cheese for dinner and eat on paper plates? If I let the boys handle their own hair-washing and tooth-brushing? If a kid slips out the door with mismatched socks? If we all watch too much TV and take too many naps?
I’m thinking nothing too tragic. The family meals, the dishes in the sink, the chores, will all wait until next week. My boys will have properly-rinsed hair and properly-socked feet once again. The rest of the world will still be there when I emerge, ready to face it with some pep in my step.
Motherhood is full of hard work and hard play. We have to remind ourselves to rest hard, too.
By the time we get to the point that our bodies, minds and spirits are screaming out for a break, we ignore that voice at our own peril. And, I might add, to the detriment of the people who depend on us for affection, love, and a positive example: our children.
I’m keeping that in mind as I set my weekly intention to rest hard. The only question that remains: shall I start with a good book on my Kindle, a nap, or a warm bath? Hmm…
Are you feeling the need take a break and rest hard this week? Here’s your permission slip. Please share your Mindful Monday intention in the comments below!
Thank you for this post! I’m in my first trimester with my 4th- my oldest is 4. I am SO tired, my last few days have been like this. I was feeling a little guilty until I read this.
And you are right, nothing bad happend! My girls actually think its a treat to stay in pjs all day!
Elizabeth, definitely cut yourself some slack. When I was pregnant, I used to sleep in a bit and let the kids watch previously OK’d TV if they got up first. They didn’t die. We might watch a video on a tired afternoon.
Last week I was without a car for 2 days. It was so freeing to not be able to go anywhere. Couldn’t run to the library or the grocery store, or run kids to activities or pick them up. I was ‘stuck’ at home, and it was WONderful.
Sick weeks are definitely ‘make do’ weeks… Let everyone relax and do what keeps them comfortable and happy, and keeps you on your feet to do what needs to be done and nothing more. We all know someone has to clean up the barf… and we all know who that is. After that, the rest can take a back seat.
Yes I do agree. Motherhood is really one of the toughest jobs in the world but the most fulfilling one. By the way, are your kids ok now? Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks for asking – everybody is on the mend!
Yes, BUT…I would/do feel guilty if I ever want to do this, because my husband doesn’t ever get the chance! Of course, my “work” as a mom feels like 24/7, and he does rest hard when he does that thing you talked about where he goes into the guest room and stays in bed all day (or 2, or 3 days) with just a cold.
But it’s still hard to indulge that feeling, knowing that he doesn’t have the choice and has to go on to work no matter how he feels.
True, Janet! But, you know, even in “regular” jobs people do get to slack off a little now and then. I’m not sure what kind of work your husband does, but if it’s anything like the “day jobs” I’ve had, it’s not impossible to sneak in some zone-out time or even a nap now and then when you’re feeling really rotten. And if he’s got a high-intensity job where he really can’t relax, look at it this way: maybe you taking a break will allow you to take more off his plate when he gets home!
Hmmm – this is one post that I had to think hard about how I would reply. In line with what Janet is saying, this is one way I do envy those that stay at home / work from home (including my husband). Those of us with jobs outside the home just don’t have that flexibility. I had to chuckle when you suggest you can sneak a nap in – oh how I wish that were true! It’s definitely NOT. When I was pregnant I’d be absolutely miserable working in my cube wishing I could just nod off. But if I did and someone walked by and saw me, it would be very much frowned upon. I could lose my job.
Sure I get 5 to 10 minutes here and there to read blogs and comment as I am now; but it’s in between a lot of busy work or meetings. I still have to get up early, shower, dress, and get to work on time no matter how rough the night before is. There are no longs spans of time where I can just goof off. If I am sick and stay home, I’m charged vacation days so I only do it if I’m really really really sick.
My husband works from home and has weeks were he’s go go going and then he’ll get a few days where he can slow down and take it easy. I understand it and tell him he should do it more often. But I can’t say I’m not envious and wish I could do it. :-/
Susan, totally didn’t mean to imply that everyone can take a nap or even a break on the job! Just that I think sometimes moms feel guilty about “not working” when in fact we are working, just doing a different kind of work! Of course all jobs are different and the fact that I can even think about lying down for an afternoon tells you that my youngest is three and big enough to veg out with a video, not a newly-crawling baby who’s into everything, or twins, or a child with special needs, or any other circumstance that would make it much harder to really rest.
Maybe the point is that we all have different opportunities for rest, but it’s good for ALL of us to seize them when the opportunity arises. For example, if someone is working 50 hour weeks in a busy job, they may not have the option of slowing down even for a second at work: but on Saturday, perhaps they can crash a little. It’s definitely not the same for everyone, though.
This is a great reminder, thanks! It’s so true. We are always go go go and it’s really important to rest. My Dad once told me that we get sick when our body is trying to tell us to rest. I think it’s true. Getting a cold or flue stinks but it literally forces us to give our body what it needs!
Very good post. There’s a lot of good info here, though I did want to inform you about something – I am operating Mac OS X with the latest beta of Internet explorer, and the look and feel of your blog is kind of peculiar for me. I can read the blog posts, but the navigation doesn’t function so great.
Thank you for this post! It came out at the perfect time. I am completely spent but have a hard time slowing down even when my body and brain are telling me I need to. This is a great reminder that if I don’t take care of myself I can’t do anything WELL. I need to break out my old mantra ” do fewer things, do them better”. And at the top of that list is ‘DOWN TIME’. I’m so excited
Thanks!