To me, a big part of “family fun” means hanging out with other families. I’m very fortunate that both of my best friends from high school live here in town, just a few minutes away. Oh yeah, and one of them married my brother. So the three of us – and our spouses and ten combined kids – spend a lot of time together.
Saturday afternoon we decided to throw together an impromptu BBQ party with the three families. We had brats and chicken on hand; Melissa (whom we have always called “Missy” but who would probably like to leave that nickname behind) brought green beans and beer, and Jenna (the one who had the good taste to marry my brother John) bought chips, hot dogs, and wine. I had three pints of blueberries left over from last week’s CSA share, so I decided to make a blueberry crumble (using this microwave recipe from Taste of Home, since it was too hot to use the oven long.) The group of us ate and drank and sat around talking, laughing and listening to music all evening while the kids ran amok.
I tried to take a photo of their high-energy seven-kid-strong dance party, but this is all I got:
Those impromptu gatherings are some of my favorite ways to spend a Saturday. The grown-ups get to hang out and talk while the young cousins and friends have the time of their little lives.
Sure, maybe I should be a little less eager to have people over to my house. After all, I do not have what home-decorating magazines would term “a kitchen perfect for entertaining.”
There are about two total feet of available countertop, made of “not fooling anyone” simulated woodgrain laminate. The appliances don’t match in either color or era (ancient white fridge, new black stove, well-used stainless dishwasher.) The floor…well, let’s not even talk about the floor right now.
The rest of the house has its quirks, too. If our home could tell a story, it would say “Family moved in with great intentions of renovating, ripped out all the trim and tore up the dining-room floor in one week, and then pretty much…stopped.” Okay, so maybe we didn’t completely stop, but we did slow wayyy down after that ambitious, exhausting first month. But we can’t stop living, and having people over to our rough-around-the-edges, half-done house is living itself.
So we do it a lot. Just last weekend my sister Kathreen, her family, and some out-of-town friends came for a day and night. How many weekends of summer are left? You can guess we’ll have almost as many get-togethers.
Hopefully our guests are comfortable enough here. Even if we did accidentally put the new bathroom doorknob on backwards.
Privacy is limited, but you can always lock someone in for kicks!
I dream of one day – maybe when the kids have all flown and my home decorating budget exceeds the (low) double digits – being a truly gracious, Martha Stewart-esque hostess. But for now, I keep my hostessing standards within easy reach.
I figure guests need:
- Adequate and easy-to-access toilet paper.
- Hand soap and a clean towel.
- Something to eat and drink.
- A chair to sit on.
- A place to change a baby (with wipes and diapers to borrow in case they forgot the diaper bag at home).
- Good conversation, good music, and lots of laughter.
Doable on any budget and in almost any home. No, our house isn’t “perfect” for entertaining, and yet, everyone who comes over always seem to stay pretty well entertained.
But I guess it helps to start with good friends.
How did you and your family spend your weekend? I hope it was as imperfectly lovely as mine.
I loved reading about your tiny amount of kitchen counter space. We have a “smaller” kitchen also and I’m learning to make-do with it and love it. It’s so refreshing to hear that your house isn’t all perfect either!
I love it! I have been really embracing this so far this summer. I struggle with feeling like my house isn’t clean enough, but the appeal of being able to put my kids to bed and still hang out in the back yard with the firepit schmoozing with friends (adults!) is enough to get me over any squeamishness about my house.
I also really adore the snacking baby waving at the camera. <3
Great post! Entertaining isn’t about perfection, it’s about people. And thanks for the nursing babe pic, LOVE IT!
And to add to what guests need, I hate it when people don’t have a trash can in their bathroom… Having to put used female products into your purse for later disposal is just so super gross.
One of my good friends (who I am very fond of) never has soap and rarely has hand towels in her bathroom. I have gifted her with pretty soap (bar and liquid) multiple times but she doesn’t seem to get the hint. But her floors are waaay cleaner than mine, so I guess we all have our hang-ups.
Love this! I know my house is not nearly “company ready” as I would like but my real friends know that our house is fueled by love, family, good food, and chocolate!
If they need a perfectly clean house, they should keep going down the road!
Thank you for this. I tend to work myself up over getting the house clean and “Martha Ready” But you are right, soap in a non scary bathroom and a towel. Done. Oh, and the wastepaper basket! We’re having family over for a BBQ next weekend and this is such a great reminder of what’s important.
Your blog has been so helpful to me. Lately, I’ve been going between each new post and last November’s series about food. Your Six-Meal Shuffle is genius! It is the first meal planning system that has not made me want to take to my bed. I even reorganized my pantry and bought some spices that were missing from my cabinet. I’ve also bought a bunch of jars, cans boxes of ingredients for recipes I know I’m going to make over and over. HUGE relief!
So thank you, I love how you put things into perspective and have solutions that really address what needs to be done. I can’t tell you how much I needed this.
LOVE THIS. I too have an older, smaller, cramped-kitchen-and-bathroom house. We still like having people over, despite the challenges. I am encouraged by this post to start doing it more! Thank you.
I just discovered your website through Offbeat Mama the other day and I’m hooked. I’m a young (25) first-time expecting mother and a freelance writer/painter, so much of what you say truly hits home! Keep up the awesome work!
Amanda
I had a wonderful weekend with friends as wwell. We went on a little road trip, visiting a local nature reserve and having a barbeque at a near by park – kids kept each other entertained, adults had a chance to relax. I always think that kids are better behaved when there are more than one adult around – having a friend of the family hold your hand while walking on the trail is so much better to a 3 year old than Mommy or Daddy!
went to my toddler’s “gig” at our local park!
I think I’m a little more picky than you, but maybe I won’t be once I have more kids! Anyway I feel uncomfortable going somewhere that is visibly dirty or needs to be vacuumed, probably mostly because I end up feeling allergic and terrible afterwards. Maybe that was implied? I’ve been invited to homes for playdates that clearly hadn’t been dusted and vacuumed and felt miserable the whole rest of the day because I was so stuffed up and had watery eyes, etc. And if the counters are dirty I am hesitant to eat what I’m offered. But it would be different with family I think-I wouldn’t care as much if I were going to my brother’s house, lol.
LH, I actually have fair-to-moderately high cleanliness standards for my own house when I have guests (but dirt in other people’s houses doesn’t bother me, go figure). My husband has bad allergies, too, so we have to keep dust and dog hair, etc to a serious minimum anyway; and I’m paranoid about food poisoning so I always keep the counters clean, though I am far from a perfect housekeeper. Actually, having people over always creates a great incentive for me to clean! I have joked that if we could only have company every couple of days, we’d have a spotless house year-round.
What I’m talking about is not so much a DIRTY house as an IMPERFECT one…a home that is lived-in, a little shabby or disheveled-looking, not updated, not perfectly decorated, not magazine-spread-worthy, not “done.” You can and should keep on living your life even if you aren’t living in your “dream house” and for me, part of living my life is having company.
I *so* agree that having company over regularly is a good way to make sure your house doesn’t get too grimy!!!
Thank you for sharing a photo and description of your unstaged, real-people-live-here kitchen. We need to see more of these, and fewer “show home” pictures of people’s digs that are so popular on “shelter” blogs.
It’s no wonder we start to feel like we’re not keeping up with the Joneses, when we think their kitchens are full of brand-new luxury appliances, perfectly coordinated canisters, and carefully selected unique decor, based on the pictures we see online. Seeing even just a few feet of a real kitchen, that obviously serves its family well, is such a breath of fresh air. Honestly, that is what struck me most about this post!