It’s July 16, and for those of us whose break starts around June 1 and ends around September 1, that means that summer vacation is just about half-way over.
And for many of us, that realization brings with it a sense of anxiety or a feeling of failure, because despite all our grandest plans for this brief interlude of time between spring and fall, so much has still gone undone.
Take our family, for example. We haven’t been to a single zoo or county fair. Haven’t gone camping. Haven’t even gone to the beach, except to view the fireworks – and we live right next to one of the most beautiful beaches on Lake Michigan!
Sure, this year I have the “excuse” that I had surgery six weeks ago, but the truth is that most summers go like this. June passes by in a heartbeat, and suddenly July is half over and I’m left wondering where the time went and how many experiences I can possibly cram into the remaining six weeks before school starts.
And I know I’m not alone.
But when you think about it, summer break is really pretty short. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to fill so little time with so much activity?
A few weeks ago a friend and fellow blogger asked me to name my favorite summer memory. As I do with most “what’s your favorite _____” questions, I struggled to come up with an answer.
But then I realized: when I think of my childhood summers, no single experience, day, or event stands out.
Sure, those occasional vacations and big outings were great, but when I try to conjure up an image of the summers of my youth, it’s a hazy, lazy montage of Popsicles and trips to the park. It’s the simple pleasures I remember most.
Clara sharing Dairy Queen with her buddy Luke
And if my mom failed to check any items off of our summer “bucket list”, I never noticed.
So instead of beating myself up over what we haven’t done so far this summer, I’m taking a moment to reflect on what we have done.
It’s true that we haven’t camped yet, but we have had plenty of sleepovers with cousins and friends, complete with kids “camping out” on the living-room floor and erecting forts in the sunroom.
Owen snuggling with his cousin, Quin
Maybe we haven’t gone swimming at the beach, but we have taken the kids to the pool, which, let’s face it, is way more manageable with little kids anyway.
The kids have shared ice cream with friends, eaten bowl after bowl of watermelon, sipped lemonade and shucked sweet corn.
There’s still six weeks of summer break left, and it’s ours to fill however we like. Still plenty of time for that camping trip, outing to the fair, a day at the water park…or all three.
But I hope, while we make our plans, that we can all keep in mind all the things our kids have done so far this summer, instead of just worrying about the things they haven’t. That we prioritize out of a sense of what would enrich our family lives most, instead of guilt or anxiety over not having done “enough” so far.
Because the truth is that my kids’ lives are rich with small pleasures. They have so much: friends to play with, loving family, a cozy home, good food to eat, crayons and paper, water to splash.
Trips to the beach or zoo are very nice icing on the cake, but not the essentials of a happy childhood. Or a happy summer.
And a neatly checked-off “summer bucket list” isn’t a requirement of being a good mom.
As we move into the second half of a summer still full of possibility, let’s try to keep that – and how lucky our kids really are, from simply being in a loving home with parents who care – in mind.
Is your summer bucket list leaking? Sarah’s “Summer Mom Manifesto” may provide some more manageable inspiration.
Great post! I do enjoy the ‘special’ things about summer and like having ideas in the back of my mind of things to do, but try to make sure I don’t feel pressure to do *everything* on that (mental) list. It helps that we live in an area that most of the special events are repeated every year – if we don’t get to it this summer, there is always the next one!
This week my oldest in in summer camp with a friend every afternoon and with this heat I have no plans to leave the house with my 2yo. Bubbles, sprinkler, books, sidewalk chalk – OK, *maybe* if I’m feeling particularly motivated we might make an excursion or two to the local playground. ?
In my opinion, during a heat wave all bets are off. It’s about 90 here and we’re staying in the AC!
So beautiful. I adore this post as I still sometimes find myself trying to cram endless activities into my day.
Nothing fancy but surely a sweet, simple pleasure in my mind.
And I have to say that one of my favorite memories as a child were the times my sister and I got to watch television in mom and dad’s bedroom with the A/C running after a day at the pool.
Thanks for this beautiful post!
Gretchen – I love that. I have similar, very fond memories from childhood that I’m sure would never make it on a bucket list but that I still treasure.
Hi! I recently started reading your blog, and I couldn’t agree more with your post! I’m a teacher and summer goes by way too quickly as it is, so it’s important to relax and take it easy during this time.
In our family, we enjoy regular trips to the park and visits with friends and family. We just got back from a beach vacation at the family shore house and didn’t even bother to spend a day on the beach! The pool was WAY more manageable with our 2 year old and 2 month old. We did ride a pirate ship, go crabbing, and eat lots of ice cream!
Thanks for reminding us that keeping summer days simple still is special.
Hi Jeni, thanks for reading and commenting! With a two-year-old and two-month-old I don’t blame you for going NOWHERE near the beach.
It does get easier to manage as they get older, except that then the bigger kids want more freedom in the water which kind of terrifies me. I’ll do it every now and then, but for a typical summer afternoon, I just want to be able to keep them all in one confined space.
Ok you’ve sparked a debate! Not really… I totally agree that a list is not essential but I have to say that a summer list doesn’t have to be a source of pressure. I love my list and I decided to defend it ?
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Too funny, Sarah! I responded over there – is it wishy washy to say I think we’re BOTH right?
Hah, I agree with a lot of your post too! Funny how that works, eh? For me the key is what you said here:
“The summer list is only a source of positivity – not pressure.”
Very important, I think!
Totally agree! Like I said in my comments. I think it might be more how you feel about lists then summer. ?
This is a fabulous post. I am coming from the other side of the spectrum. We’ve been to Disneyland (one more LA trip to come), Hawaii, Camping (2 more trips to come), the Zoo, the Movies, Tourist Outings in our City, Fundraising walks (one more to come), soccer camp, etc. We are scheduled to the max. I can’t help it. I just want to do everything- it sounds so FUN! But man, it’s overwhelming. I vow next summer to say no more to fun and yes more to relaxing!!!
Rebecca that is totally my issue as well. I will NOT miss out on any fun. I’m an only child with a perpetual fear of missing out…that might be another post though ?
I’m not alone in building up summer as this superspecialwonderfultime that can never fulfill all of our hopes, apparently! My family has been super busy so far this summer, but we’re still missing out on plenty of activities. The best way to approach it might be this — when September rolls around will you look back with fondness or a sense of loss? It’s a tough call, and it’s often dictated by how amenable your kids are to new adventures (yes, I’m the Dad of toddlers)
This really hit the spot with me. I keep reading about summer bucket lists and part of me thinks I ought to be asking my kids what they want to do during these last weeks of summer…. but I resist it as I also know we are really happy to just to ‘whatever’ and take each day as it comes, rather than ticking boxes. I agree that my kids lives are rich with small pleasure too! Thank you this reminder
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