The Happy Hostess: making family and friends feel welcome

The boys and their cousins: this is what get-togethers are all about.

I love to entertain, and being a good host is something that’s very important to me. To put it this way: when I watch HGTV, I get more excited by an inviting guest room than a decked-out kitchen. I love being surrounded by friends and family and want to make sure they’re as comfortable as possible when they visit.

That’s not to say that I worry much about entertaining in style. To me, “entertaining in style” implies pairing the right wines with the right foods, matching a hand-made centerpiece with coordinating table linens, and always setting the table properly.

In our house, though, entertaining usually means filling the house with other families, setting out platters of cheese and crackers, deli meat and bread, and various unhealthy, cheesy, sausage-filled dips; uncorking some cheap wine, and letting everyone go at it. We’re lucky when we can even find enough plates and forks for everyone, let alone matching ones. And I’m honestly still not sure I know how to properly set a table.

There’s a time and a place for everything, though. Maybe one day I’ll have the budget and time to throw stylish soirees-not to mention build that guest suite-but right now it’s not a priority. To me a party is really about the people, and I’d much rather invest my energy in making visitors feel comfortable with what we’ve got. I also think that even if your budget is tight you can invest in small touches that make your guests feel welcomed. As I rush around preparing for our upcoming Halloween party, here are some of the preparations I’m putting on the to-do list:

My favorite towel set from Target. I always stock up on hand towels.

• While we’re pretty relaxed within our own family unit about re-using towels, not everyone has the same comfort level with germs…and mixing several families together means you’re much more likely to spread viruses around. So we’ll have plenty of hand towels clean and at the ready. I keep a fresh supply in the bathroom so that I can quickly swap them out whenever they start to feel damp (I try to keep in mind that people with all different levels of hand washing, um, talent will be using the same towel, so when it’s damp, it’s probably pretty germy, too.) Right now our hand towel hook is broken, so I just fold the towel neatly into a plump little square and put it on the side of the sink. I figure little kids can get at it more easily there, anyway. Things don’t have to be perfect to work.

Method Pink Grapefruit Hand Wash–No Triclosan

While we’re on the topic of hand-washing, stocking up on hand soap is definitely on my to-do list. I’m not a big fan of antibacterial hand soap, so I scour the shelves for plain old hand wash without any triclosan. My favorite is Method hand wash, since it’s made of mostly natural ingredients and the company has made a commitment to environmentally-friendly practices. I like the Grapefruit scent best, but they’re all pretty yummy. In a pinch or on a tighter budget, Softsoap and the Target Up & Up brands can work, too-they both make good-smelling options with no triclosan. At about $4 a bottle, the Method soap is a bit pricier, but the soap lasts a long time and I love the way it looks on my countertop.

I make sure to have a bottle of hand lotion next to the soap as well, for those guests with chronically dry hands. And myself. I hate washing my hands without putting on lotion afterward.

Some other small, thoughtful touches that make me feel like a good host:

• I can’t stand the idea of an overnight guest being uncomfortable or cold, so I always make sure to do a big load of laundry and get all the linens and blankets ready. I am big on clutter elimination, but can’t seem to get rid of pillows, blankets and sheets-after all, you never know when we might wind up with an unexpected sleepover, or when a child might wet the bed and need a new set.
• Toilet paper! I stash it all over the bathroom so that if a guest finds herself short on squares, she can figure out where to help herself to more without having to go on a hunt (usually by the time one realizes that one is in this position, getting up and looking around is not exactly, err, convenient.) And I also splurge on good toilet paper when we’re having guests over. I figure if nothing else, it makes it that much less likely that the small children will get germs on their hands.
• Finally, I hide cleaner and a rag in an easy-to-access place in the bathroom so that I can give all the surfaces a quick wipe-down every time I go in there. The vast majority of the kids in our family and circle of friends are boys. Trust me, this is a needed step.

When it comes to greeting and serving guests, I keep it simple. I want anyone to feel comfortable grabbing a drink out of the fridge, rummaging through my medicine chest in search of a nail clipper or grabbing a diaper and wipes for an emergency change. This makes my “job” as hostess easier and I think it makes guests feel more at home, too. So please-if you ever come to my house, I hope you’ll overlook the mismatched silverware, grab yourself a plate, and make yourself at home. It’s not perfect, and it may not be particularly stylish, but it’s my home, and I’m happy you’re here.

Other helpful posts like this:

Want to feel better about your house? Invite somebody over. Hosting Thanksgiving? How To Help Young Children Feel Included Whimsical Girl’s Bedroom Ideas Hate Folding Laundry? Stop Doing It. (And Don’t Feel Bad About It)