Lately, I've seen grocery shopping as something to be gotten through in the least possible amount of time. But what if I tried to savor that time, instead of just saving time?
When my oldest son was very small, I really enjoyed grocery shopping. I’d hit the store on double coupon day, challenging myself to stick to our meager grocery budget and performing elaborate cost calculations on everything from toilet paper to ground beef.
But over the years, as I’ve added more children and more daytime responsibilities, I’ve come to see shopping for food as something I “squeeze in” around other tasks. Generally I go in the evenings or on the weekends (to avoid involving the children, which slows the process way down) and try to keep the entire trip to about a half-hour. My grocery trips had begun to resemble a competitive sport, like that short-lived game show Shopping Spree.
Now that four of my five kids are in school, though, weekends and evenings are busier and seem more special – and it just makes more sense to fit shopping in during the day. So on the first Wednesday morning after school started, after Clara and I picked up our weekly CSA share, I started heading toward the main road.
Then I paused.
In our area, there are a handful of grocery-store choices. Most of the time I choose between two stores: Martin‘s and Meijer. Martin’s is a smaller, slightly upscale hometown grocery. Meijer is much bigger, with a lot more options, like their store-brand organics line and a large selection of toiletries, electronics and household goods.
Over the past few years I’ve gotten used to shopping at Martin’s more regularly than Meijer. I love Meijer’s prices and selection, but it just plain takes longer to shop there than the smaller stores. It’s further away, there are more aisles to sift through and more options to weigh. Martin’s is easier to weave through and, since I’ve got the store’s layout memorized, I can complete my trip in record time.
But…I like saving money, too. That Wednesday, I needed face wash and shampoo, which are more readily available at Meijer than Martin’s. And Meijer has a mechanical horse kids can ride on for a penny. Clara loves that horse.
The horse won. Clara and I headed toward Meijer.
By this time, it was almost 10 AM. Owen would need to be picked up from the bus stop around noon. I started doing the mental math, trying to figure out how quickly I could make my way through the store, and what tasks I might be able to add on top before Owen’s pick-up time.
As it turned out, though, shopping took longer than I’d planned. Because I wasn’t sure of the exact layout of Meijer’s produce department – and it’s huge – I ended up having to backtrack several times after I realized I’d passed the lemons on my way in…and then had to go back for fresh basil…and then again for garlic. I found myself contemplating price-per-ounce on the Meijer brand organic tomato sauce versus the name-brand on sale. By the time we got through the checkout, it was after 11:30, and since it would be a 15-minute drive home, I knew there would be no “squeezing” in another errand or task before picking Owen up from the bus stop.
So I dug some pennies out of the bottom of my purse and let Clara ride the horse twice.
The next Wednesday, after picking up our CSA fruits and veggies, I sat at the stoplight, once again weighing my options. Turn right, and I’d be heading back toward town and a quick push through Martin’s. Turn left, and I’d be looking at another morning spent at Meijer.
As a mom I feel almost socially conditioned to want to “save” time. Even when I don’t really need to shave 10 or 15 minutes off a task, it’s tempting to do it just to see if it’s possible. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, necessarily. The way I see it, taking less time on tasks I don’t really love frees up more time for things that are important to me.
But, I thought, what if I looked at this weekly shopping trip a little differently? Instead of something to be rushed through and gotten over with, what if I looked at it as an opportunity to spend a leisurely morning, once a week, every week, with my toddler daughter? We don’t get much completely relaxed, un-fractured time together. A Wednesday morning spent grocery shopping could become our special, weekly ritual.
So I turned left.
Instead of trying to rush past the produce and then having to go back through against the grain for forgotten items, I took a much slower route, weaving my way past each stand so that I could see everything. I inspected some new brands instead of sticking to my mechanical (and repetitive) selection. I let Clara try samples in the deli. We chatted about pasta sauce. I let her help select cereal (4 boxes for $10, woo!). She helped me place the groceries on the conveyor belt. And this time, I managed to scrounge up four pennies for four horsey rides.
As a busy working mom, figuring out ways to save time is essential to keeping my life running smoothly. But I’m finding that savoring time is just as important as saving it.
My weekly grocery trip with Clara is quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of the week. Soon enough, she’ll in school all day, too, and maybe then I’ll decide that I’d rather spend Wednesday mornings working or having breakfast with a friend. But as for now, shopping has gotten a makeover in my life. It doesn’t have to be something to be “gotten through” in as little time as possible. With the right attitude – and, okay, the promise of a mechanical horse at the end – it can be special time for a little girl and her mom.
And that’s something to be savored.
This post is part of a themed series sponsored by Hallmark’s Life Is A Special Occasion campaign, but the ideas and words expressed are all mine. If you’d like to keep up with the rest of the bloggers participating in these posts and find out more about special promotions from Hallmark, sign up for the email list.
Grocery shopping is one of my favorite times with my 16 m.o. daughter too! Especially since our grocery store has those magical shopping carts with the little cars on the front. She rides through the store yelling “Car! Brrm, brrm, brrm!” And then she occasionally peeks back through the car’s rear ‘window’ into the cart to investigate what I’m buying, and make sure that we’re getting enough bananas. 🙂
That is SO precious! My 2-year-old always lusts after the car carts…maybe I will try putting her in one next time.
I completely relate to the idea of savoring time at the grocery store – so much so that I drive my husband bonkers if we are together picking something up with the kids on a weekend. I’d rather move slowly, chatting with my kids about starfruit or the characters they see on the cereal boxes, than feel like I’m rushing.
I admit, though, that I have trouble savoring time on other errands. Maybe it’s my love of cooking and eating good food that makes the grocery store feel like a luxury?
Good point, Kristen. You know, there are definitely things I just “get through” and I’m okay with that. I’m trying to think of an example of an errand, but how about chores – like unloading the dishwasher. I don’t hate it, but I just kind of DO it, and as quickly as I can. I think we all have those tasks; the trick is not overlooking an opportunity to turn something kind of boring and everyday into a more special experience. That’s not to say every task has to be a special experience, though. For example, I’m not sure I could ever make vacuuming special!
I use vacuuming as an excuse to bust out my hugest chandelier earrings and highest heels. The benefit is three fold 1) I feel way more glamorous as I do it 2) my little used nice things get a walk around 3) I’m less wobbly on those heels when I get practice – and can sashay around with the best of them when date night rolls around!
Haha! That is an awesome idea. Maybe I would appreciate vacuuming more if I did that!
I love this post! I struggle with the sprint-through-the-store too, but honestly, I enjoy grocery shopping, especially at my homeslice, Meijer. I especially love it at this time of year, with all the fall decorations out. So I try to make it a fun time for the girls, as hard as that can be to shop with two small children. I’ve found the key is my attitude though. If I’m relaxed, they can relax too. 🙂
I have 5 month old twins and being able to do any errands with just one of them is a sweet luxury. I savor those times because it’s rare that I get to focus on just one of them. It makes running errands something special, and much more enjoyable than doing it alone.
For some reason I don’t feel that time-saving urge. Maybe it comes with having more kids? Or maybe my natural laziness counters it? Anyway, I love walking around stores with my toddler (unless he’s screaming…he’s in a screaming phase these days that I hope doesn’t last long-it’ll go away if I ignore the negative behavior, right?) and have definitely used it many days as a way to kill time while Daddy’s at work and we’re tired of being inside on a blisteringly hot or thunderously stormy day!
I enjoy weekly grocery shopping, but only when I do it alone these days. My 2.5 yr old is just a little too much to handle in the stores right now, and my husband is slow as molasses. I go after work every Thursday and while I don’t go slow, I don’t rush it either. I look over clearance items and check my list carefully so I don’t have to backtrack for anything. It’s a nice hour all to myself.
Great post. Thanks for reminding us what’s important.
LOVE THIS!! I want to comment on my own childhood and as a mother.
I was the baby of a big family, much like your daughter. I vividly remember grocery shopping with my mom while all the rest were at school. It is a wonderful bonding time! Even as I got older, I loved going with her. Sometimes we’d go right after school. Even now when we visit each other – we enjoy going to get groceries together 🙂 Your post brought back happy memories!
Now as a mom, I enjoy taking my kids too. With the ages they are though (7, 5, almost 3, 16mo) I alternate. Taking all four is a bit chaotic so I only do that when I have to. Usually I take two — one big kid, one little – so one is walking and one is in the cart. I never try to rush through it — sometimes rushing is what can make it stressful. We have our little routines — the big kid loves helping to pick/bag the produce. The folks at our deli always gives each a sample slice. We talk about sales/money/options. We find something to surprise daddy and the kids at home with (little single serving chocolate milks, bakery cookies, etc).
I recently changed up my routine though — I used to go on sat/sun morning and suddenly found myself dreading it. We’d roll out of bed, get through breakfast, head to the store, it would be mobbed, deli counter took forever, crowded aisles, long lines, etc. Then come home, unload, put away and look at the clock and realize it’s noon. And the baby is hungry already. So the last four weeks I’ve changed to going on Friday after dinner. I do feel the “oh how exciting – Friday night at the store” misery a little… but then on Saturday/Sunday, Freedom!! We’ll see. I think one thing that keeps me a happy mom is trying new things / new routines.
Oh and the other savor place – COSTCO! That one we do as a family – it turns into an “outing”! The tasty samples, the constantly changing inventory, the food court…. sometimes we are there over 2 hours!
My husband Dave is the worst I have tried to show him how easy it is to be organized before heading into the grocery store saves on time.He , however, still wastes an forgets stuff needed because he has no game plan 🙂
Grocery shopping used to be one of my favorite things with one child. Add a second and it was slightly crazier (specially bc they ask for everything in the store). For a while, I began to dread the trip too.. but now, like you, I savor it as fun for all time. I began playing games with them and letting them pick their fruit and veggies for the week. works out best.
Now, when I go grocery shopping for the MOMables kitchen… THAT is another story. I go ALONE with a big cup of coffee. It’s no fun to have kids plus 2-3 grocery carts by yourself.
i am very much happy to see my kids big and i am so happy talking to them and play to them.thank you so much for sharing this this us..
As usual, a beautiful and thought-provoking post, Meagan.
I like your approach, and this idea to break out of the efficiency model and more of a slow-down-and-smell-the-flowers model.
Thanks for keeping us honest!
Amy
I actually don’t mind grocery shopping if it’s a Fresh & Easy, Whole Foods, or Trader Joes. A lot depends on size and aesthetics! However, I do normally mark this as a chore to be done and this post inspires me to find time to “enjoy” it more. After all it’s definitely more enjoyable than many other chores.
I have always loved grocery shopping, whether I have plenty of money to spend or $30 for the week. There’s just something about it that makes me happy. (Now, bringing groceries in from the car is another story).
I usually do my grocery shopping on Thursday or Friday mornings and bring my 2-year-old along. We have lots of fun. She helps me “find” produce, we talk about the different foods we’re buying, and if she’s lucky, the cashier gives her a balloon at checkout. The only bump is that she HATES sitting in the cart, and I shamelessly bribe her with a peppermint every time to get her to sit down. (Next week I will try giving in to her lust for the fancy car carts!)
But I didn’t come to the “grocery shopping is fun with a toddler!” mindset easily. It was only after I realized, when she was several months old, that it was entirely possible for me to make it to checkout and realize that I’d hardly interacted with my daughter at all. I was so focused on finding what I needed, not spending too much money, and getting out of there in a hurry that I genuinely didn’t talk to her much while shopping. I wasn’t mean or neglectful, mind you (and when she was a lot younger, she was usually pretty transfixed by her surroundings anyway), but I was definitely missing some great opportunities for bonding.
My first headed off to Kindergarten a few weeks ago and it made me realize even more how precious this time being at home is with my other 2 guys. I think we fall into the habit of rushing and getting through things. I’m trying to be more present in the moments I would have. I don’t need to rush them into the house after dropping the big guy off at the bus stop. We can linger on the front steps, and play in the back of the car while I’m putting the stroller back in. I don’t have to race back in the house to check emails, watch the news or really do anything else. I think rushing through errands or daily life leaves us all with a lot of idle time.
Ok, so I’m a loser for double-posting, but I just got back from grocery shopping with both kids, and I HAVE to ask–does anyone else have a problem keeping their kids in the cart? I end up carrying one, while chasing the other one, while trying to push the cart with my pinky..where did I go wrong??