When you work long days, how do you get dinner on the table?
I got a distressed note from a reader yesterday. A mom who works long hours outside the home, she has precious little time to spend with her children in the evening. Because she has so much to cram into just a few hours, trying to get cooked-from-scratch meals on the table nightly is more than she can pull off (without ignoring her kids or developing superhuman powers.) Instead of feeling encouraged by this month’s topic, the reader felt “like a failure.”
I want to make a couple of things clear to everyone reading:
- If my words imply that I think processed foods or boxed foods are less good, it doesn’t mean I think you’re LESS of a mother if you use them. I use them–and I’m a darn good mom.
- That said, I do believe that unprocessed foods are better for us, for the most part, than processed foods. It doesn’t have to mean a perfect dinner every night, but I think food is important and that we all function better when we eat enough fruits and veggies, fiber, and essential nutrients–which aren’t always easy to get on a diet of mostly processed, prepared foods. And I’m reminding myself of that as much as anyone else when I talk about that here, so believe me when I say I am not standing in judgment.
- I don’t believe you have to prepare meals from scratch every night, never go near a drive-thru, or consume nothing but organic, local seasonal veggies to have a “good enough” diet. I think there are small changes any one of us can make that add up to a difference.. Maybe it’s learning a cooking technique that makes cooking a meal just as easy as reaching for the pizza guy’s number. Maybe it’s serving a steamed veggie on the side of that mac and cheese.
I’m a working mom, but I have the benefit of an extremely flexible lifestyle that allows me more time to think about and and prepare for mealtime than a lot of moms who work outside the house. I’d love to hear from working moms with demanding schedules who have great tips on how to make mealtime less of a hassle, less expensive and a little more enjoyable for Mom. Have you figured out a way to bring more veggies and unprocessed foods to the dinner table–even when time and energy are a premium? Or maybe you’ve decided to embrace the “good enough” dinner but concentrate on healthier snacks. What are your go-to solutions? How do you set priorities? How do you handle juggling mealtime and just-got-home-from-work-and-everybody-needs-me time? Please weigh in here in the comments.
While I’ve got your attention, I’d like to ask for your help. As you know, I’m on vacation this week and have not been campaigning hard for the SAM-e Good Mood Blogger gig. Round 1 ends tomorrow and I’ve slipped down to #19 in the rankings! I HAVE to stay in the top 20 to go on to round 2, and my status is seriously threatened…and as tomorrow is my son’s 13th birthday and we’ll be at Universal Studios all day, I doubt I’ll be doing much begging for votes. Can you help? I would so appreciate your facebooking and tweeting about the contest, as well as your votes. And remember, if you blog my voting link, you’ll get an extra entry in my giveaway for an immersion blender and great cookbook!
Not only do I have a full-time job, I’m also a single parent to 4. I do a pretty equal split between convience/fast food and home cooked stuff. My advice is to plan ahead as much as possible. That makes it much easier. Also, make friends with your crock pot. It’s a life saver!
Because my husband’s schedule is a lot more flexible than mind, he cooks. He went from a slave to a recipe (and 10 phone calls to me) to quite the gourmand in 4 years of making our weeknight dinners.
A few years ago Mark Bittman (author of HOW TO COOK EVERYTHING, which is an absolutely fantastic cookbook) wrote a piece for the NYTimes about 101 simple dinners ready under 10 minutes. It was so popular that he made it into a spiral-bound book. Please tell your reader to get a copy. She can see them on-line here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/18/dining/18mini.html?_r=1&ref=mark_bittman. Bittman’s dinners are brilliantly easy, not processed, and delicious.
Some quick ideas that work well in our house:
1) Scrambled eggs with vegetables – takes under 10 minutes and is popular with kids
2) A fruit and vegetable plate – instead of salad we cut up fruits and vegetables and serve with dressing. The kids have to “eat their age” (so the 7-year-old eats 7 pieces) though they often eat more.
3) Soup – I made cream of broccoli soup in the pressure cooker last night and it was ready in under 15 minutes (not sure if the pressure cooker cooks out the nutrients but I am sure it was more delicious and nutritious than from a can). Serve soup with cheese melted on whole wheat bread for dipping.
4) Smoothies – Any time of year these are quick and delicious. Do not add sugar. Just use fruit, milk (or juice or even water) and sneak in some healthy extras like flax seeds, kelp powder, and brewer’s yeast. If you keep bananas in the freezer you can make this extra thick and it’s like ice cream. The problem is that clean-up is a pain with smoothies.
5) If you eat meat and fish, cooking this can be so fast. Just pan sear or broil and dinner is ready.
I participate in a meal swap with 9 other women. We swap meals, freezer ready, with preparation instructions and recipes every 6 weeks. I spend one evening making 10 recipes of one meal to swap. We meet and swap meals. I go home with 9 other meals in addition to what i made. It’s a great time-saver! And still home-made.
Anna from Motherly Law
I don’t currently work outside the home, but I used to. I think that I was more organized and better about getting dinner on the table then than I am now! Here are a couple of my easy, home-cooked dinner strategies:
1. Make meals ahead and freeze them. I did this a couple different ways. I used the Dream Dinners service a few times and found the meals to be adequate, but not great. I also bought a few of the freezer menus from http://savingdinner.com and would make those up in advance for easy cooking later. And finally if I find a recipe that freezes well (think meatloaf, soups, stews, etc.), I’ll often double or triple it the next time I’m making it for dinner and freeze the extra servings. This virtually no extra time and often can save you hours down the road.
2. Subscribe to a meal planning service. These services will send you a weekly menu with a shopping list. I like http://thescramble.com because if offers a lot of flexibility if you want to swap out one recipe for another. The Saving Dinner one is good too.
3. Use frozen veggies for sides. My kids don’t like or dislike them more than fresh veggies and they’re just as good for you.
Erm, my husband cooks – and works too. He’s the superman in our house!
Great post and I am so glad you wrote about it. I know so many working moms who are frustrated with their schedules and then feel badly after reading chirpy food blogger posts. Food, in general, is such a difficult topic – even touchy at times. There is something about food that can really get to the heart of things (which is part of the reason why I think breastfeeding vs. formula is so fraught with tension – it is our children’s first food source!)
I have so much empathy for a mom who comes home at 6 or later and is struggling to get food on the table. When I was working, my husband and I struggled with this and we didn’t have children with whom to contend. Definitely, this is where meal planning comes into play – doing the simple, quick dinners during the week, for example. I know if I ever go back to working outside the home, I will rely on meal planning far more than I did before having kids.
I know she can be annoying (and lord knows there is no way I will be re-creating a “tablescape” any time soon) but Sandra Lee on Food Network actually has some pretty good ideas about taking part home-made and part store-bought and mixing it together to make dinner.
I try to incorporate that into my meal planning whenever possible – a rotisserie chicken can stretch for two or three nights, depending on what I choose to make. Frozen lasagna with fresh steamed sides might make a nice supper and then lunches later on.
I also try to remember to repurpose leftovers – example, I make extra baked potatoes so I can mash them up the next night. Leftover taco meat (sometimes even from a takeout dinner) goes into a casserole the next one. And leftovers are okay. I’ve had to teach my husband that, but he’s growing surprisingly okay with it.
And seriously, no one should feel guilty about what they’re doing. So long as you’re trying to provide a healthy meal for your family, don’t let it bother you too much if you have a busy spell and feel like the local pizza joint knows what time you’re calling, or if your kids think Colonel Sanders is a long-lost uncle. It’s like everything – there is a season to it, and when things slow down you can go back to whatever works for you.
Two full-time working parents and three little boys here.
1. healthy breakfast lunch and snack take the pressure off dinner.
2. breakfast for dinner (eggs, pancakes, etc…don’t forget the bacon.) 😉
3. Smoothies are my guilt-eraser. A little OJ (or milk), yogurt, frozen berries, banana, and a big handful of spinach. You can’t taste the spinach – I promise. The dark berries cover the color. You can add carrot, too; but the texture/taste changes.
4. Guacamole is incredible healthy and under-utilized as a dinner option. We often do smoothies with guac and chips, or grilled cheese if we’re feeling fancy.
5. Can of ‘refried’ (really just cooked and mashed) beans — throw into burritos or quesadillas. Combine with eggs and salsa or spinach or guac or whatever.
6. Soup – cook ahead of time and serve until it’s gone.
7. Let go of the guilt. Cereal is a perfectly acceptable dinner. For me – my time with them (so, less time spent prepping dinner when I get home from work instead of playing outside or talking with them) is more important than a traditional family dinner. We still sit down together – who cares if we’re slurping smoothies.
It’s not easy. I enjoy cooking very much, but I realized that I just can’t cook full-on meals from scratch on the days I’m working.
Oh, and the slow-cooker (crock pot) is your friend. Add potatoes, veggies, big can of tomatoes, curry paste, can of coconut milk and serve over rice. Chop and dump takes 5 minutes to prep, then let it cook while you’re at work.
end/ramble.
I’m not sure if I can add more than has been said already, but I love Kelly O’s point about everything havng a season – it’s something I try to remember in all areas of life! I work more or less full time but am able to do about 2 days a week at home, and my hours are mainly school hours, so I realise I’m better off than many(plus I have one child, not 4 or 5!). Since I’ve been doing this much work, though, and my son has started school so I see much less of him, I have become a slave to my weekly menu. I sit down on a Friday and decide on 3 or 4 meals, preferably really easy ones which don’t need much time/attention and which you can make loads of so you can have at least a couple of nights of leftovers in a week (hence only planning 3-4 meals). Leftover nights are the ones where I’m home later.
Examples: macaroni cheese; spaghetti bolognaise; roast dinner (on a Sunday so leftovers stretch to Monday and maybe even Tuesday); pizza (home made or bought; I’m not fussy and am forever hearing ‘but I like the bought ones best, Mummy’).
I do know I need to get over the ‘proper meal’ thing – my son has a cooked meal at school for lunch and I know he eats most of it, so he doesn’t need a huge evening meal. My husband eats at the canteen at work and tends to have a ‘main meal’ for lunch too. The main challenge is finding things that a five year old who wants to live on pizza and cheesecake will actually eat!
We are a UK vegetarian family of 5, with kids aged 19, 15 and 12. I work from home and finish when the kids come home. Bizarrely my life is actually easier since I started having everyone sit down to a properly laid table. I feel better and more efficient when it looks attractive – no one else cares except me. We have tablemats, cloth napkins and candles (yes really, every night). Everything is nearby, it takes less then five minutes. Not for everyone, maybe more difficult with younger kids, but it works for me.
If kids are rushing off somewhere or don’t want to sit as long as we do, it’s flexible – through relentless reminding and enforcing, they now do a share of the clearing up before they leave the kitchen. Knowing that they have to clean up anyway has actually stopped them rushing off early. I look forward to dinner all day, to catching up with everyone, and I think the kids are starting to too.
The food is almost secondary… at least it is for two kids who are picky eaters. My meal plan is not exactly a conscious plan, but has evolved into this… If its possible to cook double, I do. I don’t care if we have it two nights running. Or half can go in the freezer. We have baked potatoes with baked beans and cheese once a week, pasta once a week and macaroni cheese once a week. The pasta and the baked beans are with salad. The macaroni is usually with carrots and steamed broccoli or other green veg. Frozen peas if necessary. The other four nights? Usually two nights are some kind of casserole or curry (same one), cooked on the least busy weekday. The other 2 nights are usually one fast thing (stirfry, spaghetti, bangers and mash) and one other thing which could be anything from take-away or freezer, to soup and cheese or something new, depending on time and schedule. I don’t do dessert except maybe on Sundays – just fruit, and sometimes yogurt or ice cream. Sometimes I’m more adventurous but I don’t pressurise myself. My minimum is that all means have veg or salad (I love my stovetop steamer). Or even just fruit on a bad day. Worst thing is the youngest kids won’t eat lots of things. They have been like this for years, and it’s annoying but they are slim, healthy and energetic so I don’t criticise or engage emotionally. Sometimes they’ll just have the rice or potato or whatever. They can also have fruit, bread etc. I feel its taken me years to get to this point where I enjoy dinner every day!
My husband and I both work in the public schools so we are very busy teaching and attending to our hundreds of students a day. Therefore, we are pretty exhausted by the time we get home and would prefer to hang out with our sweet toddler. Here are some things that have helped me, as a working mom:
1. my husband shares the load, whether it is cooking, cleaning, laundry
2. prepare meals ahead of time–I did this once at a business made especially for this purpose. I was able to make enough meals for the week in two hours on the weekend. Then during the week I came home and popped them in the oven. Now, I do this on my own on Sunday to save money.
3. Have my toddler help. Now, I say this because I know I have a very focused toddler who loves working in the kitchen and mimicing everything I do. I will cut the veggies, he scoops them into a mixing cup, and pours them into the bowl or pot. When we finish prep, I get everything cooking and then we can play.
While none of these options is perfect it has worked for our teeny family. There are still nights when I get home late and think “What am I going to do for dinner?” and then the feelings of disappointment and failure wash over me…but when I look at my happy toddler who just wants to hang out with me…I think soup and sandwiches will be great for dinner…and then we go play!
I work full-time, though my husband’s schedule is currently more flexible. Here is what works for us:
1)Cooking large batches of sauces for rice/pasta, stews/soups that can be reheated with litting attention from me.
2)I embrace the “good enough” meal by using packaged rice/pasta and canned or frozen veggies for sides. I also buy pizza dough instead of making it.
3)Try to make sure something is set out to defrost in the morning so I’m not facing a frozen pork chop at dinner time.
4)We eat dinner later than a lot of people I know, anywhere from 7-8 pm. The kid gets a healthy snack if she needs one, but this way it doesn’t feel like a race to get dinner on as soon as I walk in the door. I take 30 min or so to get out of my work clothes and sit with my daughter before doing any chores.
Our biggest cooking time drains are cooking meat & chopping produce. I wonder if your reader could use the weekend (or post-kid bedtime) to do things like bake chicken and chop peppers, then the next day toss the pre-cooked chicken & pre-cut veggies in a skillet, and have fajitas ready to eat!
Our best super fast recipe is baked tuna or salmon sandwiches. We put the tuna and some bagged shredded cheese on slices of sandwich bread on a cookie sheet (Hubby and I love a little red onion & garlic sprinkled on top too!), then bake @350 for 10 minutes. PS leave half the slices “empty” as top pieces or things will get messy!
I actually wrote a whole post on this back in the summer: http://www.mommamadeitlookeasy.com/2010/08/whats-for-dinner.html
It is still a huge issue for me. Thankfully my husband helps. I have to let him know what to prepare, but he normally has it started by the time I get home from work.
We sort of have a schedule. Monday, DH cooks. Tuesday I cook. Wednesday I put something in the crockpot. Thursday we eat leftovers from the previous 3 days. Fridays we go out or order pizza. The weekends can be a toss up depending on what’s going on. My Tues meal is usually simple – pasta with a salad and bread, breakfast for dinner or something out of my “meals in 20 minutes or less” type cookbooks. My husband often grills. Anything that requires chopping, cutting or whatever I tend to put in my stick blender mini food processor thing. It doesn’t really matter what size the recipe says to cut the item, I just cut it that way 🙂 I go home for lunch so I put the food in the crockpot at lunch on Wednesdays. It is usually plenty to eat for a few meals. I will say we tend to eat later than some families – 7 or 7:30 – and often take our daughter (almost 2) straight from the table to the bathtub.
I love my crockpot. And my family loves the vegetable beef stew I make in it. All of the steps can be done from scratch, but there are speedier options for just about everything.
In the morning, I throw some pre-cubed raw stew meat, some canned beef broth, and diced potatoes and carrots into the crock pot. The dices don’t have to be tiny and bite sized, either, and potato peeling is totally optional. You could use a bag of frozen sliced carrots instead of fresh. I also add a small bag of frozen green beans. I start it on low and let it cook all day long. Then when I get home I slice up half a head of cabbage and throw it in(most store sell this pre-sliced in the salads secton, in bags), plus a bag each of frozen peas and corn, and a big can of diced tomatoes. After you add all that, give it another hour or so and call it dinner. I love anything I can make in the crock pot. And we always have leftovers of crockpot dishes, which means a super quick meal later in the week.
Great, great tips here. I am thankful that my husband’s recent schedule allows him to pick up the kids from school three evenings a week and since he’s home at 3:30 pm he does the homework/cooking. It won’t last forever though as his schedule changes every 3 months.
I agree about making friends with the crock pot. Throw a roast beef and potatoes in there, you don’t even need seasoning and you have a great meal 10 hours later (cook on low). We eat out once a week as well to give us a little break. I’m also a fan of leftovers and will often make extra when I cook and use it for lunches or dinner the next night. It’s not easy being a working mom and the guilt from it can make a bigger issue of dinner than there needs to be. If you have lots of healthy snacks on hand dinner doesn’t need to be a big production every night.
I actually don’t work outside the home, but here some of the things I do to save time and cook healthy dinners:
1) Cook big on the weekends (or, whenever you are off)- make two pans of lasagna and freeze one; double your beef stew recipe and freeze the second portion; bake two chickens and use the second for chicken salad or sandwiches during the week; make two boxes of pasta and save the second for later in the week; pre-chop all your veggies when you get home from the grocery store so the prep work is done before dinner.
2) Cook dinners your kids can help with so you can get more time with them – the King Arthur Flour has a great recipe for a quick pizza crust you can make ahead and then you can make a healthy pizza with your kids; pancakes for dinner (kids can help stir); let them butter the bread for grilled cheeses; etc.
3) Try a slow-cooker – you can cook a whole chicken or beef/pork roast in one, and then just microwave some potatoes, steam some veggies, dinner is done!
4) Don’t be too hard on yourself. Set a modest goal – like cooking 2 of five nights a week, and work up to more if you can. Offer lots of fresh fruits/veggies that don’t take a lot of prep work (apples, baby carrots, grapes), and just do what you can.
Mostly I forgive myself when I can’t do it. And I recognize that on work nights, I often can’t do it. And then I make up for it when I can, so we eat better on the weekends, or holidays or when I have a day off. Also I plan. Planning is KEY. If I didn’t have everything I needed for the week bought on the weekend, then it would be crackers and cheese for dinner. Being prepared and not having to make weenight trips to the grocery store is very important. And finally, I try to jazz up convenience foods with a few healthy additions. Take last night for example. My kids love KD. LOVE IT. I don’t fight it. But I did make a healthy sauce of chopped zucchini, tomato and a light italian dressing which I mixed right in. It’s healthier and more interesting to the adults that way.
My go-to, last minute meals:
1. I toss the flash frozen chicken tenders (boneless, skinless) from Costco in a baking pan, drizzle with olive oil and salt/pepper/spices (I love Herbamare). Toss bagged fresh broccoli from Costco on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with sesame seeds and salt/pepper/herbamare. Stick both pans in 400 degree oven. In about 30 minutes dinner is done, everyone likes it and i’ve only had to do about 5min of work (I think a meat and a plate full of veg we all like is a totally acceptable dinner!)
2. Rice and beans. This can be as easy as heating up a can of beans and nuking one of those rice pouches and you have a nutritious meal in minutes, Rice cooks itself even if you don’t have the pouches. Can add cheese, leftovers, whatever. We like ours with pineapple. My kids (picky eaters) love this meal!
My kids love to grab fruit and I feel like that takes some of the pressure off me to make a complete meal 🙂
A great site you can check out is The Six O’Clock Scramble. http://www.thescramble.com. I think it runs around $50 to join for a year, $30 for six months. She emails you five recipes every week that are 30 minutes or less, and healthy. She also includes a shopping list. You can look through the menu, and if there is something you know your family will not eat, you can swap it out for something else she has. Her catalog of recipes is awesome! This has helped me on many occasions, and my family has tried a lot of dishes we wouldn’t normally have tried.
Okay, now I want to know what KD is.
I like all the suggestions that help with lunches during the week. Packing a lunch instead of eating out is my big weakness.
I work full-time outside the home and I have a two year old. I do large batches of cooking and freeze them. My husband and I cook together one Saturday night after the little one is in bed every 3 wks. No, my husband could not cook at all before we started this, but he has learned a lot since then. Anyone can grill and chop chicken breasts!
I found all of my recipes on-line (for free). http://www.onceamonthmom.com has recipes, shopping lists, and prep instructions all for free. Google OAMC cooking for more ideas. Also, many of your current recipes will freeze. I even freeze mashed potatoes!
Once my son is old enough to follow simple kitchen rules, then he will help as well.
Olivia – KD is Kraft Dinner (also known as Macaroni and cheese). If I ask my kids if they want Kraft Dinner they have no idea what I’m talking about…lol.
Nicole – rice and pineapple – I must try this!
I work outside the home plus own my own business. Cooking is another job for me. Luckily, I have a husband who is a chef. Most times he cooks but when I have to I utilize the crock pot or I prep or prepare meals the night before. That takes the pressure off. Prep time is the biggest headache. Time Management is key.
Two working parents here. Someone already listed my top easy dishes – omelette and fried fish, both 10 minutes – so i give a couple of organizing-related tips.
I’m not organized enough to plan a week’s menu ahead. When I have time, I’m sometimes just so tired I cannot remember a thing I should do. But typically, there is at least one dish leftover from a weekend, and – yes, the horror – typically our two-year old eats it at least for three dinners. Sometimes he gets tired of the same dish, but it does not have to be the consecutive days, and also freezer works. (The rest of us don’t often eat dinner. We know we should, to set the example, but two meals a day never has seemed quite necessary. We plan to change this, eventually…) The rest of the meals are covered by the almighty omelette, visit to restaurant (yes, eating out with the kid is good manners training), or visit to grandparents. And in those days nothing works, there’s plain yoghurt, bananas and boiled eggs, all of which are filling.
And yes, my husbands cooks too. Try to alternate the weekend cooking shifts. In some way, it is simpler if only one person is responsible of the food – that way, there’s always someone who knows what’s in the fridge and the freezer etc – but workload wise, I rather toss food sometimes (the horror!) than take care of all the cooking.