Turns out it's still pretty fun decorating a tree...even if you bought it pre-chopped on the side of the road.
As I see it, December is a perfect time to consider rituals, traditions and routines to see which ones work and which ones need to go. This time of year is so steeped in tradition you almost can’t help but think about it. And with the new year approaching, it’s a good time to consider whether what you’re doing now is working for you.
One of my Secrets To Happier Motherhood is “Be flexible.” Planning is helpful but only if you aren’t a slave to your ideas about the way things should be or the way they would be in a perfect world. So yes, this year I’m hand-writing some of my holiday cards and sending them in the actual mail, but I’m also limiting my recipient list and reserving the right to make this a not-every-year event.
I’ve already shared about how our holiday travel traditions have changed. Here are some other rituals we’ve modified over the years:
- We went and cut down a tree ourselves…once. We won’t be doing that again until the kids are old enough not to fall in the snow every three seconds or cry bitterly about their numb hands. And since that last part may never happen, I’m trying to resign myself to the idea that cutting down a tree may be just the kind of romantic notion that will never be as good in reality as it is on the pages of a magazine, or at the very least, will probably have to become a tradition ten or fifteen years from now when most of my kids have flown the nest.
- We used to each open a gift on Christmas Eve, the way I did growing up. But as my big boys have gotten older, it’s become harder and harder–their gifts are generally more expensive than the younger kids’, so they get fewer of them. The big kids were opening things like socks on Christmas Eve just to have a “small” gift to open. Not that fun. So two years ago I started buying a board game and packaging it up with cocoa, special popcorn and other treats. We open it as a family on Christmas Eve and enjoy the treats while we play the game.
On Monday I’m going to share some everyday rituals and routines we’ve changed to fit our lives better. This is a good time of year to think about shaking things up and letting go of what no longer works, whether it’s a holiday tradition or part of your everyday routine.
What are some routines, rituals and traditions you’ve had to change–or need to change because they’re no longer working? Please share!
The winners of the hand-engraved notecards from Kneen & Co have been announced!
We cut down our tree and specifically look for the saddest Charlie Brown tree possible! SO MUCH FUN!
I decided baking was just too much this year with renovations, leaving for a week on the 23rd and a storm that had us without power for two full days (which was surprisingly fun!)
Oh and what I wanted to say is that we replaced the labour intensive cookie production with making popcorn, topped with butter cinnamon and sugar. WAY EASIER than gingerbread and just as appreciated by the kids!
Oh, my gosh. That’s the perfect solution to the my family vs. his family issue. In my family, one present on Christmas eve. In his family no presents.
But if it was a family gift of some kind to enjoy after church/before bed, that would be all kinds of awesome. Thanks for the idea!!!!
I am letting go of a lot of events we’ve done in the past. I was running myself ragged, and it’s not good. So instead, we’re staying home more and spending time with just our immediate family. And we’re making LOTS of peppermint bark, which just may be my most favourite thing ever, now that I’ve discovered it.
I love the idea of buying something for the family to open & enjoy together on the eve – like the board game. I’m not sure we’re quite at the board game stage yet… but treats may be a good start 😉
My family used to do a big celebration on Christmas eve. We’d go to mass at 10pm then return to wait until midnight to open the gifts. Friends would come over and we’d eat and eat and eat and play until the wee hours…
Growing up we always had ham for Christmas, and my sister kept up the tradition with her family, but I just CAN’T do that anymore! For one, I don’t like ham, and for another, by the time Christmas comes around I am very much over what I perceive as Thanksgiving type food. I need Christmas dinner ideas!
Travel is my biggest stressor. I feel like our family size and kids ages are now finally at the point where it’s easier for me to justify (to my family and my husband’s) slowing down, not traveling or traveling less. We have been so happy with our decision to this year – not try to cram in everybody on Christmas Eve and Day and instead to stick around and take things slow enough that the boys have time to just play, and we have time to just be.
This year, since our kids go to bed pretty early, we’ll watch classic Christmas movies on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, go to a kids/family 5pm Christmas Eve church service, and then open some books, a little toy, and a game for all of us. Christmas morning they’ll each open one “big” thing from Santa. If the weather’s nice, we’ll take our time and drive to see some relatives for the afternoon, otherwise — we’ll skip the white-knuckled drive and stay home together.
I breathe easy just thinking of the lack of pressure this year.
Beth, glad you like the idea! This year I’ve decided to do a puzzle rather than a board game, for two reasons 1) we already own all of the board games we want and 2) a puzzle is easy to hop in and out of and everyone can work at the same time and at their own pace, unlike a board game where if I have to attend to the toddler everyone else has to wait for me. So another idea in case you find getting the entire family to finish a board game difficult!
Elizabeth–isn’t it SO nice to have that weight off? Congrats on creating a laid-back holiday you can enjoy, not just survive.
Nadia–what about a family movie? Or a story book?
Mudmama–good idea on the popcorn. Can’t go wrong with popcorn~
Amber–mm. Peppermint baaark.
Erika, I admit I’m kind of over the traditional ham-and-turkey now too. Anyone else with creative suggestions?
Our Christmas traditions have generaly stayed the same over the last few years. The only thing I have recently changed is staying home on Christmas eve. In the past we have gone with my Hubby’s family and have a feast of crab and steak. But then we turn around and spend christmas day with them also. Now I love my in-laws but 2 nights in a row, and not feeling like I had anytime with just “us” made me decide to start having Christmas Eve here at home. We will bake cookies, have a nice dinner and for the first time I will let the girls open one gift. Im looking forward to enjoying our new tradition!
Actually, after years and years of being single and then married but childless, I’m seeing that what’s not working is what my husband and I tend to do, which is to ignore most holidays altogether. Not Christmas, though, which is my favorite, and which we’ve generally done simply. As for the rest of the year, getting new traditions started is a bit mysterious. Though I suppose that the way to do it is just to try something and then revise. Sort of like writing, yes?
I love the board game idea!
Lately our tree has gotten smaller and smaller as we get it later and later and I have trouble justifying a big one. Now we’re down to what’s practically a Charlie Brown tree and I’m starting to wonder if that’s our tradition.
On Christmas Eve, our kids open a gift from us, usually pajamas … almost always, actually. They totally know what it is, but they don’t care. It’s a present and they get to open it. We also have a party with our friends, who don’t go to family, like us. It’s the highlight of our celebration, and it makes Christmas a quiet fun day for just our family.
We are still trying to form our family traditions for the most part. I had wanted to get new pajamas for the whole family each christmas, but this year money is a bit tight, so we decided not to. Our daughter is still a toddler so we figure we can pick it up again next year if we want to. Though now, I’m liking the game/puzzle/movie idea for the whole family to open on christmas eve.
Erika, we don’t want to have a heavy, “traditional” meal either so we have decided to make a shrimp dish.
Awww I love the game/puzzle & treats idea. So stealing that for when my son is old enough for one or the other 🙂 lol.
My MIL does chili on Christmas Eve which is fun & different, yet still warm & cozy feeling. I like the idea of roast beef too-again warm & cozy, but not the Thanksgiving turkey & ham. Or you could go uber traditional & have a Christmas goose!
I like the game/puzzle idea too. Christmas is also my birthday, and I’ve had to change traditions since I got married and had my son. I felt my birthday cake should not be my son’s memory of Christmas, so I make an upside-down cranberry cake that’s really easy. In addition, we try to not have the big overblown holiday meal. This year we’re doing a chicken with cranberries and pears (okay, perhaps cranberries is the theme this year). Last year, we made a skirt steak with bourbon sauce on mashed garlic pink potatoes. The year before? Chicken crepes. So our tradition is to try something different every year for the meal–so I pour over holiday magazines and look for ideas. Both cranberry dishes were out of Everyday Food #8, but can probably be found on their website. The simpler (but tasty) the dish, the better.
Since our family got larger we’ve cut down on travelling during the holidays and everything has become so much more relaxed.
We also do the board game and treats on Christmas Eve, that is definitely one of my favourite traditions!
How I wish I could cut out the tradition of traveling on Christmas day (or the Beltway Boogie, as I call it)! In years past, we’ve gone to sister-in-law’s house Christmas Eve (45 minutes away), then back to the same house Christmas morning, then another family party in the afternoon, and finally my sister’s house for Christmas dinner. I am done. Fed UP. I have 2 kids under 5, and they don’t need to be dragged around on a day when they should be able to relax and enjoy their family and presents.
I have put down my foot about Christmas Eve and the afternoon party, but we’re still obligated to go over Christmas morning. It’s not my favorite activity, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able *not* to go. Maybe we can alternate it every other year, I’m not sure. I’ll keep trying.
Any suggestions for easing out of in-law traditions?
Other things I gave up this year: Christmas cookie-making (the store-bought tube of sugar cookies was just as satisfying). I almost got out of sending Christmas cards, but at the last moment my husband talking me into sending them. SIGH.
Diane – I love the idea of making something different every year! That’s a tradition in itself, and it sounds exciting! Perhaps we could each take turns choosing the meal.
Christmas traditions for us have been combined over the years between my husband’s and my family. He is one of 7 kids and all his siblings live close by and now that we’ve had children, between all of us there are 9 cousins between 12 yrs & 1 yr. There is no getting away from the group. We decided to host Christmas Day dinner and it has been going strong for 6 years. It is a sit-down pot luck so we don’t have to worry about preparing all the food. We will set out appetizers and make a leg of lamb and we assign dishes to the rests of the guests to bring. But on Christmas Eve we go to my mother’s house because somehow Santa shows up there a night early for my girls : ) So those are the only presents to open that night.
One tradition I always enjoyed as a kid was driving around on Christmas Eve and looking at the neighborhood luminarias. It is amazing to see the bags of lights lining the sidewalks for miles.
Lastly, until my girls figure out the truth about Santa, all the Santa presents under the tree on Christmas morning are unwrapped and in little piles with each girl’s name. It is exciting for me to put it all together. Once I bought a big tea set and had it all arranged like a little tea party using stuffed animals and dolls we already owned. It’s small things like that which can change a gift into magic for a child.
Oh, I need to add that my mother bought me and my sisters an ornament every year and kept a running list of who got what, when, and even recorded it if one broke. Then, when we grew up and moved out, she boxed up all our ornaments and made a color photocopy of the original list. It was her way of giving us a box of memories but also the opportunity to decorate our own trees without starting from scratch. I kept with tradition going with my girls. It is the first gift they unwrap on Christmas morning.