Mom’s Life — The Happiest Home

LISTEN: The New Having It All with Danielle Smith

by Meagan Francis on December 11, 2013

Danielle Smith, interview, podcast, bloggers

The jury is still out on whether modern women can “have it all.” But what if the problem is the way we define “having it all” in the first place?

In the latest episode of The Kitchen Hour Podcast, blogger Danielle Smith and I discuss, well, a whole buncha stuff: her background in TV, using video to reach an audience, holiday decorating, kids and snacking, defining priorities, letting go without guilt, and especially, our new venture The New Having It All Show, airing on Google+ every Wednesday at 1 PM EST.

Want to listen to the podcast? Just click the “play” button below to listen in your browser:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

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5 (chemical-free) ways to stay Zen this holiday

by Meagan Francis on December 10, 2013

This post is part of a series sponsored by The Century Council as part of their #TalkEarly program, encouraging parents to discuss underage drinking with their kids.

Have you ever thought about how much of the holiday season is fueled by chemicals?

Stressed? Eat a sugary cookie, you’ll feel better. Exhausted? Keep yourself going with a cinnamon-flavored caffeinated drink. If it’s after 5 PM, why not reach for a glass of egg nog to relax?

The ubiquitous chemical “fix” has become a holiday joke, but we all know that there’s a sliver – or, okay, maybe a full-on tree’s worth – of truth there. We’ve so bought into the idea that the December is, and should be, a month-long string of obligations, events, and activities that it almost seems normal to nibble and sip our way through the white-knuckled White Christmas.

There is definitely a time and place for festive drinks and peppermint bark. But through my work with The Century Council’s #TalkEarly program I’ve been becoming much more aware of the kind of example I set by the way I talk about and model stress relief. The way I deal is teaching my kids about the “normal” way to approach high-pressure situations. [click to continue…]

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Big Day of Giveaways: Win stocking stuffers for Mom and child, from Hanes!

by Meagan Francis on December 9, 2013

When I asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas, Jacob, 16, said that he’d like underwear.

Seriously. Shopping for teenagers can really be surprising!

He didn’t need to bother asking, anyway – undies have always found their way into the kids’ stockings since Jacob was first out of diapers.

This year, we’re opting for Hanes underwear for the kids – and I’m going to splurge on a few pair for myself, too. When I attended the Hanes Comfort Summit back in May, I was surprised by all the fun new products they have out for adults and kids, like bright colors, tag-free styles and supersoft underwear for the whole family. [click to continue…]

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You Don’t Have to Save Christmas

by Heather Caliri on December 3, 2013

This post is by Heather Caliri, regular contributor to The Happiest Home and blogger at A Little Yes. Heather writes about saying “yes” to little things that scare us. You can read all her posts here.

I still remember my very first Christmas movie.

Specifically, I remember the merchandising tie-in: a McDonald’s Happy Meal in the shape of Santa’s workshop, with a rosy-cheeked old gentleman grinning on one side.

But even if I never saw the Santa Claus, the Movie, I still know the plot backwards and forwards.

How?

Because it’s the story of every holiday movie, ever: Christmas Won’t Happen unless Someone steps up to the plate and Saves the Day!

The plot of that movie doesn’t only feel familiar because it’s repeated every winter at theaters near me. It feels familiar because that is often my attitude towards December.

If I don’t do something, the Holidays will be Ruined. [click to continue…]

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Sunday Morning Tea: reliving childhood at the roller rink, plus good reads

by Meagan Francis on November 24, 2013

I’m writing this Saturday evening at 6 PM, and I’m already in my pajamas.

Why? Well, I’m pooped, because I spent about an hour and a half tooling around on roller skates this afternoon.

Owen and William have been asking for the last couple of years to have a joint birthday party at some kind of venue – the gymnastics facility, the laser tag place, a bounce house, you know, all the kinds of places I like to avoid when possible – but we’ve always steered them back toward a sleepover at our house. It’s cheaper and easier…at least, it was, when the boys’ good friends mostly consisted of a few sibling groups. Two or three phone calls to other moms, and we’d have a party!

But things are changing, as they do when kids get older. They still have the same core group of buddies, but have added on more friends to the point where a sleepover started to sound downright unmanageable. Plus, as much as I think the whole rent-a-venue kids’ party thing can get overblown at times, as the date approached this year I had to admit that it sounded awfully nice just to show up somewhere, spend a couple of hours in the chaos, and then go home to a quiet, not-partied-in house.

So we went to the roller rink, another place I’ve been avoiding for years.

And I had a blast.

Yes, it was loud, and yes, it was crazy, and yes, we had a lot of kids – 11 total – to keep track of. But I decided, instead of hanging out on the sidelines, I was going to put on some skates and hit the rink. What fun! I haven’t been on actual roller skates since I was a kid, but the moment I laced them up I felt like it was just last week that I was cruising around and around to a Tiffany tune, wondering if any boy would choose me for the couple’s skate.

Luckily, I never had to worry about not having a hand to hold, since Jon skated, too. And Clara, awkward and slow as her little legs were. And there were many opportunities to reach out a hand to one of the boys’ friends who needed a little help getting off the wall or up from the floor.

But mostly I just sailed around, trying to put a little rhythm in my roll, probably looking goofy for all to see. And not caring even a little – I was just having too much fun.

I’m thinking roller skating might have a in our regular future.

Sometimes it’s easy to stay home, to steer the kids away from the places that are sure to be loud and messy and sticky and chaotic and juvenile. And yet, whenever I say ‘yes’ to doing something outside of my grown-up comfort zone, I’m almost always glad I did. Sometimes all it takes to feel a little like a kid again is to let yourself be one for a little while…even if it’s just by lacing up some skates and rolling out into the rink.

As usual, Sarah and I pulled together a handful of links we think you might like to read this week. Hope you enjoy!

Do we need to save Thanksgiving?
10 Free Thanksgiving Printables for Kids (Boston Mamas)
How did you get that blogging gig? (Lauren Hartmann)
What I Want To Wear: Thanksgiving (Ain’t No Mom Jeans)
8 Basic Life-Saving Skills Everyone Should Know (Lifehacker)

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You don’t need to find your parenting path. You’re already on it.

by Sarah Powers on November 22, 2013

This post is by Sarah Powers, Happiest Home contributor and Managing Editor, and blogger at Powers of Mine.

parenting, styles, philosophies, motherhood

As a new mom – and an observant one, having always been someone who looks for patterns and categories as a way to make sense of things – I became familiar with most of the major Motherhood Labels: attachment, free-range, helicopter, breastfeeding, babywearing, organic, hypoallergenic, you name it.

I also gathered from casual observation and obsessive blog-reading that certain labels seemed to go together: The babywearers co-slept, the breast-feeders stayed at home, the organic people cloth-diapered, the helicopters were more likely to engage in lots of of extracurriculars. (And the free-rangers? I don’t know what else they were doing, but their kids were hanging out by themselves in the park after dark while they were doing it).

Or so I thought. This is where I was wrong, where my tendency to categorize led me astray. This is where I assumed, as new mothers are wont to do, that everyone ELSE had their you-know-what together and that I alone was the one with the…issues.

From where I stood on that little island of new motherhood, it seemed like all the other moms were on a clearly marked path. A path they had chosen carefully and after much research. A path with well-lit signs along the way to guide their decisions on everything from vaccinating to preschools. A path they followed confidently, while I wandered in circles trying to make sense of it all.

Here’s what I thought then: I needed to pick one of those labels I’d studied up on and join its movement, settle into its camp, make friends with its champions. I needed to find my path and stick to it - no matter what. Veering off course, taking an unexpected turn, or changing directions altogether would mean I was weak, or worse: hypocritical.

Here’s what I know now: I was already on my path. My perfectly imperfect mothering maze. And the wandering around I was doing? So was everybody else.

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Think better, not perfect: take baby steps out of a Mom Funk.

by Meagan Francis on November 18, 2013

fall leaf

November can be a confusing, befuddling month. The daylight hours shrink, the holidays loom (and regardless of your feelings about the holidays, knowing they’re just around the corner can be overwhelming) and for many of us, the weather rapidly ping-pongs back and forth all month, like it can’t make up its mind which season to commit to.

Case in point: we had a snow day just last Tuesday, and yesterday it was a balmy (and rainy and windy) 64 degrees!

When everything from the weather to the time of day the sun sets is in flux, my routine (and mood) can suffer. And it’s amazing sometimes how quickly I can devolve from High-Energy Mom, getting dinner on the table with aplomb each night and cheerfully waking before the sun, to a squishy, grey version of her, slouching on the sofa with barely enough energy to finish a game of Candy Crush.

The good news is that everybody cycles down sometimes, and with time, enough baths and maybe a few brisk walks, I generally pull back up quickly enough. But as you probably know: when you’re in the middle of a mom funk, it’s easy to exacerbate the downward spiral. [click to continue…]

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Easy Like Sunday Morning: thoughts from the week & links for you

by Meagan Francis on November 10, 2013

This week I accomplished something that I’d been putting off for a decade and a half: I actually started an embroidery project. Pictured above is my first big achievement – a completed flower that incorporates two or three different kind of stitches.

I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that I did one of the stitches completely backward and it’s kind of a mess if you look closely, but the important thing is that I’m actually doing it, after spending my girlhood admiring my mom’s embroidery and then my young adulthood carrying around her supplies and wishing I knew how to use them.

It feels meaningful, then, that next week will mark fourteen years since my mother died. Every year the date sneaks up on me – Jacob’s birthday (today!) is just two days earlier, and I’m not big on commemorating dates to begin with – but I definitely always find myself thinking of my mom at this time of year.

Plus, late fall was just a very Mom time of year: she loved the colors, the crunchy leaves, the crisp air and baking smells. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve always loved it, too.

This week, as I cuddled up on the sofa with Clara (who’s working a child’s needlepoint kit) and worked valiantly to thread my needle, I thought about the tins of my mother’s embroidery supplies that I’ve carried with me from house to house for nearly a decade and a half (and may now have the skills to use!)

I thought about Clara and I curled up on the sofa stitching, and hoped she’d remember it one day, maybe 50 years from now.

And then I thought about the wistful look I’ve seen so many women get, even older women, grandmothers themselves, when talking about how much they miss their moms – whether they recently passed or are long gone.

People never stop missing their mothers. Not perfect mothers, not award-winning mothers, just mothers. Like all of us.

What a legacy we leave our children, fellow moms. Let’s not ever forget how important we are, just by being ourselves and being around.

PS: If you want to read more about the story of how I finally decided to quit wishing I could embroider and actually LEARN, you can read about it in last week’s Beyond Baby course email. It’ll give you a little taste of what the weekly messages and assignments are all about – and if you like what you see, you can register to get all 20 emails, once a week. (Remember, it’s free!)

sunday reads

Every week Sarah and I pull together a handful of stories we think you might like to read. Here are some links from the week that caught our attention!

Sometimes Good Parents Miss the Class Party (Allison Slater Tate)
Holidays & festivals around the world (besides Thanksgiving) (Simple Mom)
10 Things A Mom Learned in Therapy That Lead Her to Emotional Health (Postpartum Progress)
Touching Portraits of Mothers with Their One-Day-Old Babies (My Modern Met)

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Moms: Pinterest can’t “make” you feel bad about yourself.

by Meagan Francis on November 4, 2013

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of negative muttering about Pinterest.

“Working moms hate Pinterest because it makes them feel inadequate.”
“Pinterest pressures stay-at-home moms to be perfect homemakers and decorators.”
“Pinterest promotes shallow materialism and consumerism!”

This always makes me chuckle a little, because you guys, Pinterest is not a living thing. Pinterest is not capable of “making” us feel anything. It can’t pressure us, promote a lifestyle, or send us packing on a guilt trip.

Like Facebook or Twitter or even WordPress, Pinterest is simply a platform for sharing ideas (in the form of images).

And like all social media platforms, we have a lot of power over what kind of experience Pinterest is for each of us. If you don’t want to look at hairstyles or kitchen remodels or photos of expensive shoes, you can follow boards and users that post the kinds of Pins you DO want to see.

Or, if you find that you’d rather solely look at pictures of real people doing real, un-staged things, you might want to stick to Instagram or Facebook. [click to continue…]