One thing I often hear when another parent speaks out against judgment is “But judging is normal! Everybody judges.”
Well, in some ways I think that’s true. I make snap judgments every day, often before I even think about it consciously. Often having a bad feeling about a person or situation is just showing discernment.
But I think there’s a difference between the natural judging we do when something offends or disturbs us, and cultivating a culture of judgment. And in my experience, when you get really wrapped up in a judgmental mindset or culture, it makes you feel a lot worse – not better! – about yourself.
From today’s Babble post:
Of course it’s ridiculous and illogical to second-guess your decisions based on an offhand comment or the opinion of a nasty, irrational critic. But that’s the thing about feeling judged: it’s not always logical, but it always feels bad.
It goes like this: the more you take part in judging, the more you see the world as a place where your actions, your ideas, your very deeply held beliefs, are likely to be judged.
Also, the more you judge, the more you are likely to hang around with excessively judge-y people, and guess what? They’re probably gonna judge you, too.
What do you think? Have you ever gone through a judge-y phase as a mom, and how did it make you feel about yourself? I’d love for you to read the rest of the post and then weigh in!