Feeding the family doesn't have to be frustrating.
When I talk to moms about the aspects of their lives that give them the most frustration or stress, discussion invariably turns to food. Sure, we love to eat it. But what we don’t love is being responsible for it. Whether you’re fretting over trying to get your whole family around the dinner table at once or just wondering why every food label has so many words you can’t pronounce, the food issue these days seems fraught with frustration.
But it doesn’t have to be as hard as it seems.
Now let me be very up front: I am not a great cook (my kids can attest to this.) I’m not particularly knowledgeable about cooking: though my mom shared much of her housekeeping wisdom with me over the years, the most I was ever allowed to help in the kitchen was mixing the instant gravy packet, and consequently I am still very uncomfortable when it comes to certain things, like selecting cuts of meat, for example. I’ve been guilty of spending 25 minutes rounding everyone up and running out for Subway because I “don’t have time to cook” when the reality is that I don’t know what to cook and haven’t made a plan.
So I’m not standing in judgment of anyone! Nor do I think we all have to have perfect organic locally-sourced diets to be healthy and happy. I just know that, the more on top of our food budget and menu planning I am, the more relaxed, confident and efficient I feel–and I also tend to feed my kids and myself a whole lot better. Not waiting until 5 PM to start thinking about dinner eliminates a lot of stress and panic. And it’s a whole lot easier to keep the budget under control when I do some preparation ahead of time.
Here are my Happiest Mom Truths About Food:
- A home cook does not need to be a gourmet. I think a big part of the problem with the modern mom’s approach to food is what I like to call “Food Network Syndrome”: we watch shows where celeb cooks (with their shiny, well-stocked designer kitchens and–have you noticed–zero children hanging off their legs) whip up meals using spices we can’t even find at our local grocery stores. “I should be able to cook like that, too,” we sigh. Then, totally intimidated by the whole process, we throw up our hands, toss a box of mac and cheese on the stovetop and call it a day.Disconnect, anyone? I like to look at those cooking shows the same way I do fancy home magazines: they’re mostly entertainment and eye candy with a teeny touch of inspiration and information thrown in. No harm done as long as they don’t make me feel bad about my more basic, more realistic, more “me” recipes.
- Learning to cook some basic, simple meals is not a matter of luxury. Modern moms often seem to harbor a sort of pride in being helpless in the kitchen, as if to say we’ve come far enough along that we don’t have to cook anymore and should only do it if we want to (or have the time and money to invest in classes and top-of-the-line appliances.) But as far as I know, there’s nothing in the feminist manifesto about empowerment via fast-food burgers or frozen lasagna. Even if your spouse does the lion’s share of meal prep, having some basic cooking knowledge means you won’t have to resort to 24/7 frozen pizzas if he’s out of town. And even if you’re fortunate enough that you can afford a personal chef or buy fresh organic locally-sourced meals from a local cafe every single day, I still argue that there’s value in knowing you don’t have to should circumstances change (like you lose your job, or move to a small rural town, for example.)
As easy as a trip to McD's, but way tastier.
- Moms deserve (and need!) to eat well, not just our kids. So you lovingly puree spinach into your child’s blueberry muffins and dice up fresh fruit and veggies into interesting shapes to keep him nibbling–but then you subsist on Diet Coke and fiber bars? BUSTED! Learning to manage your menu isn’t just for the children, it’ll also help make you a healthier, happier mom.
- Preparing and eating real food is a matter of investing time and energy until you make it a habit. It doesn’t require special education or training, or even natural talent. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers ate real food because they had to. We can do it because we want to…it just requires more discipline.
- Eating well most of the time means you can indulge in ‘junky’ food the rest of the time…without guilt. There can be a time and a place for everything, including Dino Nuggets and Chef Boyardee.
- Some basic skills, knowledge, and planning are all you need to stay away from the drive-thru. A lot of us weren’t raised to know our way around the kitchen, and it’s easy to feel sheepish and intimidated when you aren’t even sure of the difference between braising and broiling (I have been there. Last month.) And since take-out and drive-thru is always an option, it’s easy to put menu planning on the back burner (yuk, yuk) until “later”…but then later never seems to come, does it? In reality, though, you don’t need to master deglazing or braising to whip up some meals that are way healthier and better tasting than anything else you can have in thirty minutes or less.
The Six-Meal Shuffle: Meal Planning Any Mom Can Master
This month I’ll be introducing the Six-Meal Shuffle–coming up with six family-pleasing, tasty, easy meals you can master without working up too much of a sweat before you move on to more complicated menus, based on the idea that there is nothing wrong with eating the same basic things over and over, and that actually, it can streamline everything from budgeting to grocery shopping to actually getting those meals on the table (and convincing your kids to eat them.)
I’ll also be talking to moms and experts, from cookbook authors and foodies to couponing experts and meal-planning gurus, for their inspiration, tips and tricks. We’ll cover everything from eating on a budget and menu planning to actually learning those skills we somehow got to be adults without picking up (whether it’s how to slice a tomato or how to choose a cut of beef.)
I am so looking forward to this month, because I hate for something that should be enjoyable–smelling, choosing, preparing and eating food!–to be relegated to just another stress-inducing task. I’ve definitely let food get in the way of my enjoyment of motherhood, when really, it should be one of life’s biggest joys! So let’s grab November by the spatulas and make a vow to get more comfortable in the kitchen, whatever that means for each one of us. I can’t wait to jump in.
Readers, what are your biggest challenges when it comes to cooking and meal planning? Where do you need the most help–or inspiration?
My biggest challenge has got to be juggling the various palates of my family members. There are some picky eaters in our midst, and they’re not necessarily picky in the same direction.
While I don’t think that every meal I serve needs to be greeted with enthusiasm by every member of my family, I do strive to have something that everyone will eat, and to provide a basically balanced diet. And this is often much harder than it sounds.
I’m a comfortable cook, I make decent meals and I cook almost every night. That said, I struggle with keeping enthusiasm for it all. I have started planning my week’s meals in advance, which has helped, and I always have meat in the freezer, pasta in the cupboard and rice in the jar, so can always make a meal. If I’m bored with the meals I cook, my family is as well. So I am working on mixing it up, keeping it interesting as well as functional, without spending hours in the kitchen. I look forward to the month here!
My biggest challenge is probably that I want to eat lots of fresh fruits & veggies, but my son is only 15-months-old so he doesn’t eat much, and it’s hard to use things like lettuce & onions before they go bad without getting really sick of them by eating them 4 days straight!
Oh, and Hubby refuses to eat any fruits except blueberries and raspberries. Seriously.
My biggest struggles are just what you mentioned–eating healthy food on a budget the whole family will enjoy. I’ve got four little ones (7 mos, 2, 4, & 6), and they’re not always the easiest to satisfy, and it seems their palates change often! Just found your blog and in perfect timing, can’t wait!
iWoohoo! This stuff I am good at. The home stuff? eek. Food stuff though is totally doable. I have the basics for almost anything I want in the pantry and with canned beans, frozen chicken breasts & veggies, rice, and potatoes I can shop once per week and have healthy meals, fairly easily, every weeknight. Just don’t look at what happens to the rest of my house while I’m whipping up lemon pepper chicken and spinach biscuits.
Wonderful topic. I NEED ADVICE!! My biggest challenge: TIME & ENERGY!!! I get off work at 5:00-5:30 and don’t arrive home with all children until 6:00 once I do all the pick-ups from daycare & school. I need a few minutes to visit with each child so I can hear a little bit about their day before we sit down to dinner, then I need to get dinner going, which must include a veggie, starch, and meat. (We have milk for drinks and fruit for dessert). Get meals served and ready by 6:30 so hopefully they can finish with enough time for bath and bedtime stories all around. And while cooking, I also need to be helping with answering homework questions–but since I have a small galley kitchen, the children cannot work on homework in the kitchen. During the workweek, I usually resort to my dear Aunt Stouffer 😉 and cook up a veggie to put on the side. That way, I can “cook” and supervise homework. The few times that I have tried to actually cook by scratch, it took WAY too long and the children left their homework stations and ended up taking out almost every single toy from the toy closet. That was one LONG night . . .
Yes, yes, yes to all of the issues stated above. Picky eating is paramount in my house right now, and it’s gotten so bad with my littlest one that I’m just offering her dinner or scrambled egg/toast. Not ideal, but I’m not fighting with her right now because she immediately escalates into tantrum mode. Her sister was the same way and grew out of it, so I’m just going with the flow.
That said, I do try, several times a week, to make something that I *hope* the girls will eat. It’s hard, trying to please everyone! And then when you put all that effort into it and your kids are little stinkers about dinner, it doesn’t feel so good, does it?
But I really monitor what my husband eats (he has high cholesterol) so at least 5 nights out of seven, I cook dinner. Even if only he and I will eat it. At least I know that I provided a healthy dinner, and if the kids want breakfast for dinner, that’s fine. I did my part, at least.
I really look forward to hearing what your contributors have to say this month! Sounds like it’s a problem for a lot of us.
I LOVE what this post .. especially one of the things you wrote which completely resonated with me as it is often the same thing that runs through my head ( pretty much on a night basis) “the reality is that I don’t know what to cook and haven’t made a plan.” Clearly I need to be reading this blog EVERY day in November so that I can get my act together ( or tell my husband exactly what he needs to cook every night)
Ditto to the various palates! We all like different things and are picky. I am a long term vegetarian that is close to vegan (aside from the fact that I love egg whites!) I do not like really like pasta or rice. Potatoes are my favorite starch. I don’t like creamy, oily, cheesy food. I could eat a plate full of different vegetables and be content.
The rest of the family are meat eaters but only eat chicken and turkey. They love pasta and rice. My daughter is vegetable loving but my husband and son have only a few things on their approved vegetable list (broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, corn).
As a result, I feel like we eat out a lot in order to appease everyone. Middle eastern, Thai, Indian and cafe/bistro foods are something we all love. We also do a lot of sandwich dinners (Subway, Potbelly or Whichwich) as we can all find something we like.
Meals at home are often breakfast for dinner (veggie omelettes and soy sausage), low carb pasta with mixed veggies or just a protein with 2 vegetables.
I am so excited to see what info you have to share. This is an ongoing topic of discussion. We come up with a generic meal plan and say we are going to eat the same category on certain nights but never stick to it.
I often marvel at the complicated recipes in blogland; there are so many fabulously simple soups and things.
I’m married to a Frenchman so all meals are cooked from scratch. He even works from home so that means lunch; peanut butter sandwiches are for when he has a meeting or a trip. And I like it that way, too.
My biggest challenge:
Planning. I never know what I will find at the market or supermarket; supplies to Eastern Europe are still sketchy so one might find sweet potatoes, for example, for a month or so and then they’re gone. But I always forget my list too. Also, I never quite know what’s going to be a success, so sometimes leftovers are bountiful and sometimes not. Both of my girls, for example, are veering towards high carb diets after years of lots of veggies.
I’m lucky to have years in Italy, France and Eastern Europe under my belt so I always draw on the simplest recipes from those traditions and that adds a lot of variety to our table.
I love to cook and I’m beginning to feed my 10-month-old what we eat — chicken, fish, beef, pasta, lots of veggies. My challenge is that she can’t have any added salt, so does that mean I have to cook our meals without any added spices, then add them at the end? Or should I be cooking two separate meals?
Oh, I am loving these themed months and November is going to be FUN.
This is a hot topic for me – I love cooking and discovering new recipes and foods. I wish more moms felt the same and can learn how to do so – cooking delicious food in one’s own kitchen is truly a delight, physically and emotionally. Like many folks, I also struggle with finding new inspiration and I have been in a rut myself lately. I need to perk up my meal rotation and cannot wait to see what you throw out here.
I know you will handle this topic well, Meagan!
Hmm, I fall somewhere between average and pretty good in my cooking skills and have just recently gotten a lot more organized about meal planning. My biggest obstacle is figuring out toddler friendly meals for everyone to enjoy.
Hi, Thanks for your focus this month. My issues with food usually come down to the struggle of giving attention to my toddler while also cooking. By the end of the day, the little guy is usually cranky, and sometimes I have been working all day long and dinner prep time is the first time he has seen me in hours. I would love some advice on how to prep dinner while also giving him attention, especially some easy and cheap vegetarian meals that he could help prepare and feel involved with. Either that or some good ideas for activities he could work on while I am cooking.
My biggest thing, when I think about food for my family, is what my kids are learning about food. We live in a way and a place where I work at a food co-op every week, and my kids work with me. I also work for an OG meat farm, bringing my baby with me to farmer’s market. I cook whole, from scratch meals almost every night. I preserve (canning, freezing, drying, etc.) a huge amount of our years groceries, and my kids help and survive the busy canning days. I used to do this because it was the only way I could afford to feed my family the quality of food that I believe they deserve. But as my son (now 4) grows, I think what is even more important is what he learns about food – namely that food takes work. We work hard – at the co-op, at the farm, in our garden, with our canning pots and jars – so that we have good food on our table year round. We do shop at the grocery store, and occasionally drop everything to go out for dinner on those stressful evenings. But for the most part, we make good food a huge priority, hopefully passing on our love of food, knowledge of nutrition, and ever expanding kitchen skills to our kids. Everyone should know how to cook and how to clean a kitchen. It’s essential. Everyone should also feel confident finding good foods that meets their body’s nutritional needs. That’s my soapbox.