House & HomeMom's LifeThe KitchenWork and Passions

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Meagan Francis February 6, 2013 at 3:36 pm

What a great post! I’ve moved many times, and your points are so right on. I do like looking at decorating mags, but I have to remind myself of what they are – mostly eye candy/fantasy, with the occasional idea I can actually implement. You know, kind of like Pinterest :)

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Crunchy Con Mommy February 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Great tips! We’ve been in our house a little over a year and I definitely find that the more I do to it, even things like reupholstering a garage sale bench for the entryway, makes it feel so much more mine!

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Nina February 7, 2013 at 12:40 am

Every time I’ve moved, I told myself that it’ll feel weird the first two weeks. That’s usually how long it takes me to adjust to anything major, moving included. During that time, everything feels strange, the utilities may not be set up yet, you’re still figuring out how to get around, and you’re meeting new neighbors. Usually after two weeks, I fall into a rhythm and it feels like home.

I second the idea of grieving for your old home. I still remember feeling sad about leaving our last place but realize that we’ll still have memories of it.

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Debbie February 7, 2013 at 1:02 am

What a great post! We just moved about 5 months ago and definitely “grieve” leaving our old home. I like the line you wrote, “But if you hold on to what you’ve lost, you’ll never experience contentment.” Helps me to put things into perspective.

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Christine February 22, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Thank you so much for this article. I just moved into a new apartment and even though it’s absolutely gorgeous, I’ve been focusing on all the negatives like the smaller kitchen and lack of outdoor space. Your article made me realize I’m coming at this from the wrong perspective. I was searching for others who felt sad about moving but instead found your sage advice. Thank you.

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Chiquita March 13, 2013 at 11:24 pm

An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a colleague who had been conducting a little homework on this.

And he actually bought me lunch because I discovered it for him.
.. lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!
! But yeah, thanks for spending time to talk about this subject here on your website.

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Liliana April 16, 2013 at 5:30 pm

When it is more routine than we care to admit
however it would be best to examine our way of working so
that we can find a solution to the problem.
The dining room chairs will add a fresh
look to the home and give any do it yourselfer great satisfaction.
Check the condition of the top layer of webbing.

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Kelly July 10, 2013 at 10:20 am

Thanks for this article. It really speaks to how I am feeling about moving and provides good info on how to make the best of a necessary situation.

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Heather Caliri July 11, 2013 at 12:01 am

You’re welcome, Kelly! I’m so glad it’s proving helpful to you. It’s funny–I just got finished with move 2 of the past year, with move 3 coming up next month–and after writing that article, _I’m_ feeling more peaceful about all the upheaval.

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Binal October 2, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Thanks for the article. I needed it so badly, we just moved 1 month ago from beloved nice neighborhood to another house. I love the house but having tough time to get Settle in to the neighborhood. My two girls wants to go back so do I!! They are having tough time making new friends here and feel excluded. It’s always hard to be new neighbor…..

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john May 19, 2014 at 9:32 pm

hi, great post.

My family moved to our new house just 1 week ago. This my parents dream house and everyone would say that we have a good looking house. My parents are so proud of it, this is what they’ve been working on so hard for many years. A few months before the house was finished, I was very excited to moved in I couldn’t wait but on the day we moved in, I feel like not moving at all. I don’t know why I feel this way even though our new house is just two blocks away from our old house, just a walking distance. Our old house was divided into two, the other half was our retail shop and other one is where we lived, just a wall separates the two. Although we always go there everyday because of our business, I still feel sad. Maybe because I am very sheltered person and my house was my only comfort zone. I just missed everything about our old house, like sitting on my old sofa and do my work. I could walk to our old house from our new house because it was just so near but I still feel so sad. I feel like a part of me is still stuck in our old house. The funny thing is my brother and my parents are so at home in our bigger house and I am the only one left feeling sad. It’s been 8 days since we moved in.

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Heather Caliri May 20, 2014 at 4:13 pm

Thanks, John. I can so relate to your story. I think giving yourself permission to be unhappy and grieving is important. I hope your transition to this new place gets easier.

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john May 22, 2014 at 3:09 am

I can see the sadness in my mother’s eyes sometimes. She told me one’s she misses her old routine but she spent most of her time in our old house, she’s very hands on to our business. I told we should at least sleep one or two days in a week to our old house until we got used to our new house. Would that be a good idea? We lived there for almost 20 years.

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john May 22, 2014 at 3:09 am

I can see the sadness in my mother’s eyes sometimes. She told me once she misses her old routine but she spent most of her time in our old house, she’s very hands on to our business. I told we should at least sleep one or two days in a week to our old house until we got used to our new house. Would that be a good idea? We lived there for almost 20 years.

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john May 22, 2014 at 3:18 am

hi heather, I remember last December, I was kicking to move in. I was so excited. A friend of mine had the same experience when they moved in years ago and it took her months to accept that changes. Our old house is still ours. My plan is to sleep there at least two days a week to get used to the changes. How long did it took you to accept your new house?

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Heather Caliri May 22, 2014 at 5:00 pm

You know, for that move it took a good six months to a year. But I would imagine it just takes the time it takes with different people–and I never loved that house the way my husband did. I think giving yourself permission to do what you need to do to have peace is lovely–and having conversations about it to. All blessings to you as you grieve and try to make sense of this change.

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Deborah July 9, 2014 at 6:24 am

I moved into my new house 5 months ago. Based on my last move 13 years ago, I expect it to take at least a year to really begin to feel like home. Even though it has started to, since I updated the kitchen, hung pictures etc. One thing I do that might help John and others is every once in a while I close my eyes and pretend I’m back in my old house. I think about coming in the door and going through my old routine. Then for me I’m lucky because I have a lot that’s nicer now, so it’s easy to remind myself of all the good things I have now, like a nice backyard and family room. Then I open my eyes and go about my day. This helps me get past that feeling of wanting to be back in my old house.

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Heather Caliri July 11, 2014 at 12:22 am

I love this idea, Deborah! I imagine that intentional visualization would be really powerful.

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Pammy December 25, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Maybe you can help me. We moved into a small run down house over 10 years ago. We only put in cheap flooring ,cabinets, repairs, cheap everything with the promise we would rebuild
and or remodel. Well, not only has that not happened
it causes a fight if mentioned. So. I have a terribly run down house to live the rest of my days in. In an effort to be a good sport I’m willing to make this place “something”. I’m so over whelmed and on a tiny budget. Any ideas??+

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Heather Caliri December 26, 2014 at 5:54 pm

Oh, I sympathize with this so much! Our living spaces are so central to how our daily lives go, and it can be depressing to live with a space we dislike.
When I was in college, I visited my roommate’s house for a weekend. She had four siblings; the house had three bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths. Tiny ones. The oven didn’t close properly, the couch had a gaping hole in the upholstery, and honestly, the whole place wasn’t much to look at; it was worn and used and cluttered and crowded.
They liked each other. They laughed when they wedged the spoon in the oven door to close it. They sat on the couch, carefree, and read good books.
It was a beautiful house.
I would challenge you to start with yourself (and this is not easy advice, I know, so bear with me.). Start with forgiving yourself and your spouse for broken promises. Let go of the hurt and disappointment. Forgive the house for not being what you’d hoped it could be. And then, take a deep breath, and fill your space with things that give you joy. Make things when you have time. Find odds and ends at thrift stores. Get rid of clutter. Let go of things that you don’t love, or use, or find joy in. Choose to make the space as beautiful as it can be, with joy and acceptance. I think so much of our house’s beauty is about our own sense of contentment and grace with ourselves.
I hope this is helpful, and hope you find peace and joy right where you are.

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