I’m big on holiday traditions. Listening to certain carols, eating certain foods, putting up the same old decorations year after year…I get a lot of joy and comfort from the familiar rituals and festivities of the season.
But traditions can have a dark side, too. When they become less about joy and fun and more about pressure and obligation, traditions lose their purpose and actually get in the way of a happy holiday. We don’t necessarily want to stop baking, decorating, or sending cards altogether, but we want to incorporate those much-loved (and sometimes, much blown out of proportion) traditions in a saner, less stressful way.
If you’ve been reading here a while, you know I’m all about taking the easy way out. That doesn’t mean you stop trying; just that you figure out what’s most important to you and do that without worrying about perfection or meeting some imaginary standard.
So over the next month, I’ll have several posts dedicated to celebrating holidays the easy way by taking a common tradition that has a habit of blowing up into something unmanageable – like a weekend-long gingerbread-baking-a-thon – and breaking it down into something you can tackle without wanting to hit the eggnog by noon.
Last year I wrote about sending handwritten holiday cards, a tradition that I had let slip and was hoping to re-embrace. But I acknowledged that for many of us, the pressure and obligation of taking the perfect holiday photo, sending 100 cards, or even getting them out the door by December 21 can feel overwhelming. From that post, here are some ideas for sending cards without stressing out:
- Pare down your holiday card list. Is there anyone to whom you can hand-deliver a card – or a relative you see so often they really don’t need a card? Likewise are there friends and family members who aren’t that likely to appreciate the card and would really rather just get a phone call or email?
- Rotate receivers. If your list is long and full of people you rarely communicate with otherwise, maybe there they don’t all need to get a card from you every year? If so, maybe you can create two “B” lists and rotate them so that those people who aren’t in your close circle of family and friends get a card every other year.
- Consider sending non-holiday cards. If you like the idea of sending a yearly greeting to your former college roommate or first boss, maybe you could send a “Happy New Year” card rather than a Christmas card. Or relax even more and send a “Happy Winter” card sometime in January when life calms down. You could even stagger your list throughout the year and send a smattering of cards quarterly. Forget those etiquette “rules” you’re holding yourself to–a heartfelt greeting is welcome at any time of year.
- Make it easy on yourself. Put all the items you need–cards, nice pens, stamps, envelopes, a list of addresses, etc–together in a box or drawer so they’re easy to pull out and work on when you have a minute or ten.
- Relax your standards. You don’t have to spend hours practicing your signature so it’s written in legible cursive. You don’t have to include a lengthy summary of your year or professional-quality family photos. Play to your strengths and interests–if you love taking pictures, a handful of candid snapshots of your kids may be more valuable to your grandparents than that single posed portrait. Or if you’re a better writer than photographer, draw them a “picture” with your words.
- Have your kids do the work. Too busy to pick up photo prints or write much more than your signature? Hand your child a stack of paper and some crayons and ask them to write ‘letters’ to the relatives. Likely your mother-in-law will enjoy your child’s rendition of a Christmas tree more than any letter you could send, anyway (no offense intended.)
Do you send holiday cards? Any tips for making the process easier?
Check back soon for more “Holidays, The Easy Way” posts on everything from baking to giving gifts.
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I have been known to send out St Patrick’s Day cards. And Easter Cards. My seasonal greetings tend to be more memorable when it’s a season other than Christmas!
I never worry about getting them mailed by December 21 (though sometimes I do). Christmas is a 12-day celebration that starts on December 25. There’s no reason that people can’t receive a card after the big day. And perhaps they’ll actually appreciate it more if they receive it after all the craziness is over!
I send Christmas cards and a letter, which I know some people hate. But I do it for one big reason: I love receiving cards, particularly when they include photos and/or a letter. I’d much rather get something that tells me something about the year that has passed, even if it’s just photos so I can see how people’s kids have grown, rather than even the most beautiful traditional card with a pre-printed name inside. So I do photo cards with a letter just because I know how much I like getting them in return.
The worst part about Christmas cards is the stamping and addressing, therefore I do that part FIRST, all in one fell swoop. Then I spend the next few days taking my time doing the part I actually enjoy — the signing the cards and writing short notes to those folks I don’t see often.
I have found what makes the process tedious is addressing and stamping — once that is out of the way, I feel like each card gets some personal attention.
I love holiday letters (although I think the ones from people’s dogs are overly cutesy)–my family always sent them, and I like reading what people are up to. I wonder how much they’ll persist in the era of Facebook, though.
We send out holiday photo cards for a couple of reasons: first, many of our friends do not celebrate Christmas. Second, it gives us a little wiggle room on when we send them. We always try for December, and usually make it it, but sometimes slip.
The year we were most off-base was the year I was pregnant with Baguette. Neither of us had the energy to get them out (and it’s just stuffing, stamping, and sticking on delivery and return address labels). Eventually I said, “We can’t send them out now. People will think they’re birth announcements.” So we did a second photo card as a birth announcement and put both in the same envelope. In April.
I keep my address list on a google doc. That way I don’t have to worry about losing. I update the list throughout the year, so that when the holidays come, it’s almost ready to go.
I did that this year- sent the first batch of cards to family and friends that HAVE to receive a card, and then the rest (along with stamps) are waiting for me to address as the month goes by and as other cards come in. If I can get them sent out, great. If not, it’s okay!
Steph
The biggest stressor for me is getting a picture. Last year my four were 6, 4, 2, and 8months. I bought the nice green and red outfits, but based on previous year melt downs, I set realistic expactations. I took a picture of each of them individually, same with hubby and I, and then found one of the photo cards at Costco that had 6 “openings” in it. It was super cute — a Christmas tree – one spot was the star (put the baby there) and then the rest were ornaments. Everyone LOVED them! I will probably try to do something similar this year – or maybe pair them up. Realistic Expections – that is the key!
The other stressor is the addressing. My husband built me a cool file maker pro database back when we had our wedding, so I have everyone’s addresses stored there and update it yearly with changes. I’d be quite happy hand addressing the 75 or so cards we send each year, but my techie husband wants to print them from the database to labels. However this usually turns into a hassle dealing with the printer, the label paper, aligning it correctly, etc. One of us usually loses our temper (“it would be faster to do it by hand!!”) In the end they always get done and the cards sent. The year my 3rd was 6 weeks old, we were way behind – sent them the first week of January and threw the birth announcement in as well. I didn’t care what people thought about the delay.
I quit sending Christmas cards several years ago. Guess what? The 20-something cards I usually received went down to seven. The next year, it was down to about four.
What that told me: people were sending us cards so they wouldn’t feel guilty for not doing so b/c we’d sent them one. It wasn’t being done out of love, but out of obligation and pressure.
Not the kind of holiday spirit I want or need, thank you very much.
I’m not so sure Emily. When I get cards from people, I assume they are people who like to send and receive cards. When other people don’t send, I assume they are not “card” people and they usually will not get one from me. Nothing to do with whether I *owe* them.
I do send holiday cards and I love what you say here. Last year I had the best thing happen. I ran out of cards & needed some more for a dinner I was going to. I had spent so much time ordering and designing the first batch of pictures. It also too along time to receive the cards once I ordered them. Because of my timeframe I could not wait for a new order. Instead I quickly uploaded a picture to Walgreens, ordered one of their online cards & went to the store and picked them up. It took about five minutes. Sure, the Walgreen cards were slightly less attractive; however when weighing time spent versus quality, I would go the Walgreens route again. I do not think people really care. They just want to be remembered. Great post!
I love getting picture cards with a printed holiday greeting on them to send out. No writing required! But last time I did that, I mentioned to a relative how convenient it was (and that no one even expects you to write on them since you can’t) and she then went out and bought photo cards and found special pens that can write on them and signed each by hand. Humbug.
I still didn’t write on mine!
I send every year handwritten christmas cards to our friends and relatives. I find it a lovely tradition which is important for us. I do it always with my son together, he likes to draw something or he writes the whole text, me and my hubby only sign the card. Usually I send about 15-20 cards, so it isn’t too hard for me to bring them to the post or write the names and addresses on them. By 100 cards, it must be simplified. It could be a possible way to print the addresses and Names on it, only the personal message should be handwritten.
Know those Christmas letters we love to hate? Let your kids write the family Christmas letter! My now-11-yr-old has done it twice (dictating it to me), and everyone has loved it. It’s so much fun to see your family through your kids’ eyes, and the kid-touch keeps it from being too sanctimonious. Plus, that’s one less thing I have to do!
(Of course, we might take it *really* easy this yr. and skip the cards all together!)
Cards pretty much go only to aunts, uncles, grandparents, and the folks from the neighborhood where I grew up. The list is limited to 25. I keep the addresses updated on an Excel spreadsheet, from which I can export them to mailing labels. The mailing labels are printed out and ready to go even before I get the cards to send out — photo cards with a pre-printed message. We don’t even sign them, though I do add a note to some of the cards. Not ashamed to write a note on an index card, either — if I happen to have a holiday-themed sticker, I’ll stick that onto the index card.
When it comes to Christmas cards (actually, they’re Happy New Year cards now), I sound like the super-organized person I most certainly am NOT. This system has been generated over years! I guess I can get organized if I have lots of chances to screw up.
This year the pricey proffessional photo cards that we send out every year just aren’t in our budget. I have been really bummed about it until I read this post. I am going out tomorrow to buy inexpensive note cards and handwriting message to all of our loved ones. I can send photos later. Thanks for helping me remember whats important this Christmas!
My sister is married to a principal and she sends out a family letter in July. For them, that is the end of their year and when she has time to do it. Works great!
I’m planning to send Christmas cards next week to all my friends, colleagues and family relatives. I hope you do it too.
It has been a tradition for us family members sending out letters to our relatives, friends and colleagues. It has kept us closer through the years developing ties with the people we loved.
I have printed cards and labels done through vistaprint (very cheap) that already have our names signed on them. My thank you cards have “Thank you for the…” printed at the top and a signature at the bottom too. Takes half the work out of sending cards.
This is very usefull post. Anyway, it was hard to find it – maybe consider doing some SEO for your blog?
I learned that I do our holiday newsletter for me. This realization came when I got married, and my sister used my newsletters as a source for a trivia question game. It definitely changed my perspective. Now with two kids, I look at it as something I do to preserve our memories (especially as I’m notoriously behind on scrapbooking). Throughout the year I jot down monthly notes about what was special/memorable, and in October I start writing, updating address lists and ordering stamps and cards. I start early and do bit by bit so it doesn’t seem like a chore, also letting me to let it slide for a week or two with no stress. I have paragraphs about vacations, about daily life and about what activities the kids are into, but I also have bullet points that include “smaller” things, like home improvement projects and day trips, to give a complete picture. I no longer worry about getting pictures taken just for the card and instead cull through the many pictures I take throughout the year, choosing the best one(s).
Living far away, I still send lots of cards. Some get a hand-written note, some don’t. Selection criteria include what I’m in the mood for and/or who will appreciate it. If there is a note, it’s about a page long because I have something additional to say – it’s not a one-liner wishing folks well with my signature because in the big scheme of things, I don’t think it adds much to my pre-printed greetings. In general, I do what makes me smile with the hope that it will make the recipients smile too.
We come from a techy family not-so-crafty family, so several years ago we started a family blog to share with friends and loved ones. The kids each got their own page to put whatever they wanted – videos, links, games and messages. And could share as many pictures as we wanted. Now we try to update through-out the year so that it isn’t a chore at holiday time.
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