If you’ve been reading here regularly, you know that for the last 9-10 months or so, I’ve shown up here almost every Sunday morning with a reflective post, with this introduction: Every Sunday morning I share a moment from the recent past and something it illustrated about motherhood, family life, or simply being human.
But I have a confession to make: for the last few months, my heart hasn’t really been in Sunday Morning Tea.
That’s not to say I’ve been phoning it in with my weekly essays! I’ve worked hard on, and have felt inspired by, every single post – and I have been quite proud of a few of them, like my recent ode to sibling bonds, my decision to celebrate marriages over anniversaries, or the one on embracing solitude even when it leads to sadness.
Personal, reflective essays have always been my favorite kind of writing and I’ve really enjoyed having this space and time carved out to share my thoughts and feelings here. I got great responses from those of you who read it regularly, and really felt like some of the posts I’d written were helping people. In short, Sunday Morning Tea has been a very good thing.
But after a while, having this very specific “time slot” set aside for a certain kind of writing started to feel like more of an obligation than an opportunity.
Come Saturday afternoon, I’d find myself thinking back over the week, trying to isolate a moment that I could use as a jumping-off point for a post (and hoping, of course, that I could dig up an appropriate image on my Instagram to use as an illustration.) If I hadn’t already started the post by Sunday morning, I’d wake up feeling anxious, and would often find myself procrastinating all morning and serving up “Sunday Afternoon Tea” instead.
This weekend, I started to do the same thing. And then, about an hour ago, something shifted in my mind.
Just because something was lovely and fulfilling and fun for a while doesn’t mean I have to do it forever.
I can always change my mind.
Brace yourselves, everyone, because I am about to turn this small experience into A Metaphor. (What, is anyone really surprised?)
Sometimes when we create a structure or expectation around something – whether it’s discipline or date night, food-prep or fitness – it works so beautifully for a while that we’re lulled into forgetting that there are other ways to do things, too. Sometimes we have simply moved past something – a way of writing, a way of communicating, a way of cooking – that felt right for a month or a year or a decade. Sometimes, even good things wear out.
It doesn’t mean that the way you used to do things never worked or wasn’t really as great as you thought.
It simply means that it’s time for something new.
I have a tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking that I’ve had to work hard to move past during my life. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. One of the tenets of an all-or-nothing mindset is the idea that if you decide to change your mind about something – whether it’s your work, your routine, or even the place you live – that it’s akin to rejecting everything you used to do, or the person you used to be.
But that’s just destructive thinking, the kind that gets us stuck in routines and patterns that don’t work for us anymore, or that lead us to beat ourselves up when things don’t work out the way we’d hoped.
Changing your mind doesn’t mean your old way of doing things was a bad idea in the first place. It just means it’s time to move on, and the more you can do that without doubting yourself (past or present) the sooner you can create something new that works for you now.
And while it’s a small, simple example, letting go of Sunday Morning Tea before it turns into nothing more than an uninspired weekly obligation is my way of flipping all-or-nothing thinking the big ‘ol bird.
So you won’t be seeing a regular Sunday morning post from me here anymore. That doesn’t mean I won’t still write reflective essays – you’ll find them here, written when I feel inspired, and increasingly at MeaganFrancis.com (in fact, you might enjoy the one I wrote the other day about embracing your strengths, whether you’re naturally organized or impulsive and intuitive.)
That doesn’t mean I’ll never post on Sundays again. I might, and probably will. I just won’t be making A Thing out of it.
Mostly it just means this: For most of the last year, every Sunday morning I have shared a moment from the recent past and something it illustrated about motherhood, family life, or simply being human. I called it Sunday Morning Tea and it was a lot of fun. Thank you for coming along for the ride, and should you want to, you can find all the Sunday Morning Tea posts right here.
And now stay tuned, because here’s the great part about letting things go: it always makes room for something else, and sometimes, that “something” is even better than what you had before.