fun? Or POISON??
I wrote this post around last Halloween, and it generated some great conversation. As we approach trick-or-treating this year, I thought I’d re-publish and keep the discussion going.-Meagan
For a month before last Halloween, my brother-in-law Scott and my husband Jon worked diligently in the garage, building a spectacular Pirates of the Caribbean-themed display.
Figuring the smoke, animation and dialogue might cause more trick-or-treat interest than usual in our house, we really stocked up on candy, buying ten or so bags, plus 100+ mini-finger-flashlights. We were right: come the evening of October 31, almost our entire booty was gone within the first hour.
At some point during all the commotion, a dad, accompanied by two young boys, remarked to Scott, “We’re giving all our candy away after trick-or-treating…my kids don’t eat high-fructose corn syrup.” (Interestingly, his boys each took a piece of candy, but not a finger light.)
Scott, manning a huge plastic cauldron full to the brim with HFCS-laden candy, muttered something noncommittal. The man stood watching the show another minute or two, and then, for good measure, made his point again. “I can’t believe all these kids will be eating this much high-fructose corn syrup tonight.”
I, on the other hand, can’t believe this guy actually came into our yard, watched our show, let his kids take our candy, and then made a point to criticize it. As a mom who sometimes makes non-mainstream parenting choices, I support his right to raise his kids however he wants to, and promise I wouldn’t judge any parent for shying away from Halloween candy. But when somebody feels the need to seek out a total stranger – who was at that very moment handing out HFCS candy! – and proselytize, then it goes beyond personal choice and becomes food dogma.
And I don’t think food dogma serves us well.
The ironic part about this exchange happening in my front yard is that I’m generally not a fan of high-fructose corn syrup either, nor do I necessarily consider it “food.” At the grocery store I go out of my way to avoid HFCS in our everyday staples – the foods that make up the bulk of our diets – reading and re-reading labels and often, paying premium for the HFCS-free choice.
I do this for three reasons: first, high-fructose corn syrup is everywhere, and I think it’s generally a bad idea to consume any one ingredient so excessively, particularly one that’s a synthetic, man-made chemical. Second, I don’t like the way our food chain has become excessively corn-based, so I try to “vote with my checkbook” by buying HFCS-free foods. And third, foods that are free of HFCS also tend to be less processed and sweet overall, so avoiding it is a good way to keep our diets more whole and healthy.
So as a general rule? My kids also “don’t eat high-fructose corn syrup.” But I also make exceptions for holidays, meals out, foods we only eat in very small quantities (like the occasional convenience food) and any food offered to us by a host. In short, while avoiding HFCS is one way I try to make healthier food choices for my family, our entire diet is not governed by avoiding it…or any other ingredient. I don’t think that makes us inconsistent, just realistic. Have you priced out organic Halloween candy lately?
I can understand why another parent might feel strongly enough not to let their kids have HFCS even on Halloween…just like some moms make sugar-free carrot cakes for first birthday parties, whereas I have always made the chocolatiest of chocolate-frosted cakes, and then watched my babies attack them with delight.
On the other hand, I’ve also been the meanie parent who refuses to send “fruit snacks” with my son when it’s his turn to be snack leader. We’ve all got our own standards and lines we won’t cross.
But I refuse to teach my children that some foods are “bad” or that certain ingredients are evil, to be avoided at all costs. I won’t tell them non-organics are “bad’, even though I prefer organics. I won’t tell them white bread is “bad”, even though I serve whole-grain bread 99% of the time. I won’t tell them candy, even mass-produced, chemical-laden candy is “bad”, even though I only let them really have at it a couple of times a year.
Because I believe eating should be fun. And I believe the more fun and pleasurable we make it – the more “happy” the meal – the better, healthier choices we’ll be able to – that we’ll WANT to – make, and sustain…not just until we drop a pants size or a new fad comes along, but for the rest of our lives.
A few years ago I read The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. I was already pretty much on board with Pollan’s message: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants,” but to me, one of his most compelling arguments is that it’s not what we eat, but how we eat it that’s our biggest problem. Some of my favorite excerpts from a 2004 NYT article reprinted on Pollan’s site:
“Carbophobia, the most recent in the centurylong series of food fads to wash over the American table, seems to have finally crested, though not before sweeping away entire bakeries and pasta companies in its path, panicking potato breeders into redesigning the spud, crumbling whole doughnut empires and, at least to my way of thinking, ruining an untold number of meals.”
and
“…you might be interested to know that there are other cultures that have been eating more or less the same way for generations, and there are peoples who still rely on archaic criteria like, oh, taste and tradition to guide them in their eating decisions. You might also be interested to know that some of the cultures that set their culinary course by the lights of pleasure and habit rather than nutritional science are actually healthier than we are—that is, suffer a lower incidence of diet-related health troubles.”
and
“No wonder we have become, in the midst of our astounding abundance, the world’s most anxious eaters.”
“Anxious eaters” is exactly right, and it’s rampant in the parenting world. Feeding ourselves and our kids pure, whole diets – and eschewing everything that’s not pure and whole, all the time – has become another way to reassure ourselves that we’re doing this motherhood thing right, another way to try to guarantee a good outcome (something I’ve definitely fallen prey to myself.)
But if we put all the focus on ingredients and nutrients, do we miss teaching our kids that food is also about love, pleasure, family, fun? If we openly criticize the food choices (and non-choices) of people around us, have we missed an opportunity to teach our kids about compassion and appreciation for differences? More, do we run the risk of becoming…well, a food buzzkill?
A few months ago – I wish I could remember where – I saw a blog commenter remark that she sees a non-organic apple as “a slow death.” The comment stopped me in my tracks, particularly as several other commenters had just admitted to not always buying organics, for one reason or another. I’m sure that in her passion for healthy foods, this mother did not realize that she had essentially just accused the non-organic-buyers of slowly killing their children, but the message came across loud and clear: your food (and therefore, your mothering)? Not good enough…to a deadly degree.
Ten years ago, that comment would have cut me…and whipped me up into a frenzy of food anxiety. But I’m not going there anymore.
Food is food. Some foods are better for you than others, but non-organics can be part of a healthy diet. Eat things as close to their natural state as you can, but don’t beat yourself up over a refined-flour muffin or the slice-and-bake cookies you bought on a busy night to bring a smile to your kids’ faces. Eat as tradition, eat for taste, get to know your food, enjoy yourself.
Candy has its place for the children in my home. It’s not just about the sweets, either, but the community and the ritual: visiting all the houses in the neighborhood, dumping the bag of treats, sorting and trading with brothers, and friends, rationing out your favorites, and watching the pile slowly dwindle until a few days later, you’re back to your regular old wholesome after-school snacks and dreaming of the contents of your Christmas stocking.
It’s joyful. It’s fun. It’s life.
And life is too short to be afraid of food.
{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }
So exactly right, Meagan! I currently have two buckets of candy the kids hauled in on Halloween, and they eat a few pieces a day (maybe more; my older son’s following in my footprints and becoming a “sneaker”). I have no problem with this; it’s Halloween! I do keep it limited and after another week or so i will likely weed out some of it so the whole thing’s finished up faster, and eventually they lose interest anyway. And like you, i go out of my way to avoid most food dyes and nearly all HFCS, often spending more time shopping and more money to do so, because as you say — to use one example — there’s no reason their sandwich bread should have HFCS in it (and it’s appalling how many do!).
One thing I don’t think the food preachers always do (though i’m sure many do) is to TALK to their kids about things like food additives and what whole foods even are. When everything’s good or evil, you don’t need to have interesting conversations with your kids about, say, the difference between white and brown rice, which is something we just talked about the other day in our house.
I hear you on that last point. I made the mistake of telling my son I wouldn’t buy the colored Goldfish because they had chemicals I don’t like (this was before Pepperidge Farm changed it’s formula). Later I heard him repeat this to the babysitter and his friend. I was so embarrassed!
What makes us healthy is a sense of proportion: the proportions of what we eat, and the proportions of how much we eat. If your eating patterns are generally healthy, Halloween candy doesn’t matter. If your eating patterns are generally unhealthy, Halloween candy doesn’t matter.
I try to avoid HFCS, but I don’t worry about Halloween candy. Sheesh.
So true!
My mom said something the other week (after I mentioned feeling guilty that my 1 year old loves potato chips) that made me laugh, and yet also is totally true. She said that our culture has come full circle since the 1950s. Back then food was a pleasure to be indulged in and sex was full of guilt, and now sex is a pleasure and food is a guilt.
I can’t tell you how much I agree with this post. We (our family) are similar in trying to buy organics, eat whole foods and avoid HFCS. But Michael Pollan is right. We (our family) have lost the very real benefit of enjoying our food in the process. Lately I’ve kept a lot of our healthy habits but have traded worrying over every single ingredient and focused more on creating a happy mealtime. Setting the table with all the bells and whistles. Lighting a candle. Putting multiple courses on the table and allowing my family to enjoy their dinner. Enjoy the conversation. No more fights about eating. No more lectures about ingredients.
Meal time … family time, is too important to allow dogma a seat at the table.
My food philosophy is similar to yours. My extended family laughs at me and they consider me a Fascist. They don’t seem to understand that I’m advocating mindfulness and moderation, not a strict code. I enjoy a giant bucket of “buttered” popcorn as much as the next person, but I try to cook healthy, whole foods meals for my family the vast majority of the time. I would have been sort of bothered by that guy’s comments too. In fact I think I would have had to take deep breaths to avoid feeling offended. In the end that’s about my own food anxiety though. We have to be able to see the big picture, and you express that beautifully.
Thank you for taking the time to articulate this issue. When I run into this attitude, I get so overwhelmed I can only say, “It’s just one day. Lighten up.”
Great post again! LOVE THIS and I totally agree. I call it the 90/10 rule in our house. 90% of the time we are mindful and healthy and wholesome. Ok, maybe it’s more like 80/20 lately since #4 arrived…. but still, most of the time I pay attention to things like HFCS, trans fats, artificial stuff, red meat, etc. But for holidays and occasional treats – I don’t fuss! When I make the kids’ birthday cakes, my homemade icing has crisco and butter and tons of powder sugar! I wouldn’t have it any other way!
The funny part is, when kids eat healthy most of the time, they don’t like the junk that much anyway. Mine eat very healthy cereals for breakfast. About a month ago at Target I saw some sugar laced cereals that I LOVED as a kid (note: when I was a kid, our only choices WERE sugar laced cereals!!). These specific ones were a favorite (Count Chocula, Booberry, and Frankenberry). I had not seen them in 25 years and bought a box of each. My kids shared my excitement at first. They ate it for about a week then were back to requesting their normal day to day cereal. Now I have these boxes with about 1/3 left sitting in my pantry collecting dust …
Isn’t that parent advocating “waste” or “stealing” or something else by allowing his children to take your candy but not eat it? Bah.
Everything in moderation is my goal. I’ve eaten junk and good food. I’ve used formula. Cloth diapers AND disposable. And my kids lived.
Also, we’re all dying a slow death. So far I haven’t met anyone who won’t die one of these days.
Thanks for pointing out that eating an unprocessed, all organic diet will not allow you to live forever.
I think times like Halloween are a good time to ask your kids how they feel when they indulge in the foods they don’t normally get. If they notice they don’t feel well or super hyper, then they’re more likely to remember why over-indulging is a bad idea.
This is beautifully articulated, Meagan. We try to eat the same way (well, it is more complicated now that I’m supposed to be gluten free, but more or less!) Some organics, but not all (the pocketbook can’t handle it!) Whole grains and fruits and veggies. And my kids had whatever candy they wanted on Halloween. It is just one day.
Love this post!
I don’t use the word “bad” when it comes to food, but I do use the word “unhealthy”. Sometimes, we do eat crap and I let my kids know it. But I also let them know that is is okay that we are eating The Crap because we don’t eat it every day. Same goes for Halloween candy. Oh how I shudder at all those bright colors knowing that I am going to pay for it when it hits my son’s system. Sigh. But Halloween only comes once a year.
Overall, I think it better for my kids to know what they are eating is utter crap, but that it is okay to have it once in a great while.
Love that…Its okay to have crap once in a while. And yes, I’ve said “unhealthy” or “not nutritious” and I’m sure even “crap” before, but I don’t like to attach the word “bad” to it, because that makes it feel like a judgment on THEM for eating it. Whereas I’m more like, yes, it’s crap…but even crap has its place, now and then.
I personally had the pleasure of trick-or-treating at your house this Halloween, and let me back you up in saying that it was stinkin’ awesome. My kids (4 and 2) especially loved the tiny flashlights. That man was just plain rude. If he is so against candy, why participate in trick-or-treating at all? Isn’t that the whole point?
I use my mom’s rule about Halloween (she got it from our pediatrician): let the kids eat as much as they want right away. It is better to have one big binge of candy than a steady diet of it. The candy was gone by the next day and that was the end of it. In our home, the kids know about “growing foods,” which is the lingo we use for healthy food. Today my four year old asked if her chicken nugget had fiber in it, so apparently some of the nutrition discussion is making an impact. Eventually they will be on their own for their food choices, so it is important to me to emphasize that healthy food makes their bodies feel strong. That way they don’t see healthy eating as a restriction.
Oh, I wish I had seen you, Natalie! Though I’m sure I was out with my littles when you were there. And yes, you are totally right, and we use the “growing foods” phraseology too!
We live in San Francisco, so believe me, we have folks like this around. This year was the first time we took our 3 year old son trick-or-treating, and while we do avoid HFCS whenever we can, we knew people wouldn’t be handing out anything that didn’t have it. I started paying attention to what other parents are doing too, this being our first Halloween at preschool. And really, I don’t care what you will or won’t allow your kid to eat, but if you’re going to take them frickin’ TRICK-OR-TREATING, then at least let them eat some of the candy. Or else what’s the point? “We are one of those families that doesn’t bow to societal pressures, therefore we won’t allow our children to eat candy. But, we could bow to the societal pressure to go trick-or-treating I suppose.”
We give our candy away to the Switch Witch (who turns them into cooler stuff), but my son still delights in gathering it T-or-T-ing. I wouldn’t dream of insulting a neighbor for their generosity even if I don’t feel comfortable with the contents of their bowl. What a jerk!
My diet has gotten so strict from long-undiagnosed celiac that I can no longer even tolerate fruit (or any carbs or grains), much less sugar. I’ve gotten so much better on the GAPS diet, but it will probably take a long time before I can go back to a lot of foods. So my (also gluten-free) son sees that and knows our choices are about health and wellness. I try to say things like “people make the choices they think are right for them,” but the fact is that I know a lot of my adult health issues are related to a lifetime of eating stuff that was not right *for me.* And I do hope he (also celiac) will stick to a GF diet and avoid those issues later on.
For us, knocking out a whole category of stuff (or categories) is actually easier, I think. But then again, he’s my first, and he’s only 5.5! I do consider myself a Real Food blogger & advocate, but it’s tricky to be both okay with being passionate and steadfast but also not teach him to judge/criticize… Not to turn into your nose-in-the-air neighbor!
I hope you don’t mind, but I linked to this post just after reading it. It seemed worth passing on! I like the balance you talk about. And showing compassion for others’ food choices.
What if I teach my kids all about “bad” foods and the next time they’re eating with friends or family, they call the food “bad”? Ugh- how pretentious. That doesn’t show whoever we’re with that we value them and the food they are providing for us. Much less that we’re enjoying it!
Thanks for the good thoughts.
Of course I don’t mind! Thanks so much for the link…and I’m glad the post resonated with you.
I about ruined my marriage the first 10 years by always being upset with my husband when he ever ate anything bad for him. My son recently told me he thought sugar was sin. So sad….
I completely agree with you. We buy organic, serve whole grains, slip extra nutrients in wherever we can, etc. But we also let my daughter enjoy the occasional dessert, ice cream in the summer, and right now a piece of Halloween candy each day. Food is not only about sustenance, it’s also about enjoyment!
As a Dietitian, a mom and someone who has enjoyed a great deal of candy in her life, I struggle with the Halloween candy thing. Because I know they forget about it very quickly, I let them eat what they want for a few days after halloween. They kept their baskets with a few pieces in it but they haven’t been near them for several days now, and they are in open view. They are totally out of sight out of mind if i were to put them up somewhere. I did however send the rest of the “family bucket” in to dh’s work today. If it is here I will eat it, so not having it in the house works best.
I think this year was the first year I heard about the “switch witch” and after thinking about it I decided that I didn’t need to do that…we talked about how Halloween was fine but it doesn’t happen very often so it was ok but we were going to get back to our regular healthy eating again. They were totally fine with that. But we also don’t forbid candy at other times- they get a lollipop every time we go to the bank (which isn’t often) and I don’t stress about it. I watched a friend’s daughter run up to her with a lollipop their gymnastics teacher gave to them on Halloween and hand it to her and say “can you throw this in the garbage mommy?”. The mom then explained to me that she makes a trade for all of their candy. I admire her resolve but I also know they make a choice to eat out more than we do, and they indulge in other things like bakery items more often that we do not. I was a little confused about why they might trick or treat but it isn’t my family so I can’t dwell on it.
We all make our choices. In our house, we strive to eat a made from scratch home cooked meal together every single night. I make everything that I can make (muffins, bread), their birthdays cakes (with a lot of sugar and butter) and so if they are eating a little candy every now and then, I am not worried. We are still doing better than so many other people who just don’t realize they can do better, and so simply. I buy organic when I can but my main focus is getting my family to the table to eat wholesome, made from real food delicious meals together.
There’s just something wrong about a parent acting like that much of a….twerp. Always nice to see parents who focus on their children. It’s Halloween! My kids know it’s their one absolute free pass day. Let them have it.
Gah. Other parents make me stabby!
Completely agree. My hubby has some family members who have fairly serious food anxieties, and when you can’t enjoy something as simple as having a piece of your grandchild’s birthday cake, it seems kind of sad to me.
Perhaps food has become the new politically correct prejudice? Interestingly yesterday I interviewed an expert in this topic, we talked about “Orthorexia”, which is a bona fide eating disorder – it basically means people who are so worried with healthy eating that it becomes an obsession, a social problem that alienates them from loved ones.
Linking to this post this weekend…
As I mentioned below, my MIL has been on the Raw Foods diet for about three years now. It’s completely alienated her from the rest of the family because we can’t ever share meals together. Part of me thinks it’s a show of piety and she’s deliberately trying to separate herself from those of us who eat evil cooked food. My FIL doesn’t cook (another issue entirely) and the meals she serves him are really depressing. I feel kind of bad for both of them that they’re in this cycle.
I don’t understand why someone eating different food means you can’t share meals together. She is a grown up. She can eat what she wants. You can all sit down at a table together and eat. Now if she is being critical of what others are eating, then that’s a problem and just rude.
Well said, Meagan! I couldn’t agree with you more.
What a great post. I read In Defense of Food this fall and already have been passionate about healthy eating and local foods for years. My joke is that I’m going further and further into a new level of crazy with my desire to keep processed foods off our table. I’m even considering becoming a food activist because I’m disgusted by what we’ve done to food and farming not to mention what it’s doing to our health. Not to mention the poor who do not have access to healthy food.
But. I don’t want to become one of Those People who criticize what other people eat or feed their kids. It’s not only unhelpful but sanctimonious and downright rude. I’m considering starting a food blog to encourage and empower people to cook and eat more healthy but I want it to be more user friendly, less judgmental, and much less extreme from some of the other similar blogs I’ve seen.
My kids ate quite a bit of Halloween candy in spite of all the *Evil* chemicals I avoid in our daily diet. We did limit the amount they could keep but this was in reaction to what happened last year when we doled it out one piece at a time for two months. Not because we think that’s what everyone should do. Frankly, I don’t care that there’s crap in Halloween candy. It’s CANDY. Not something we incorporate in our daily diets. We also at lunch at McDonald’s Saturday because that’s what my 5 y/o chose. I don’t like supporting McDonald’s but since we eat there about three times a year I didn’t feel like it was necessary to give my child a huge lecture about why he couldn’t eat a Happy Meal. My MIL was very strict about stuff like that when my husband was little and all it did was make him obsessed with junk food.
My MIL has major food issues of her own and is currently on the raw foods diet but that’s another issue entirely.
Yay! So well written! What a balanced way to approach food. Thanks for the insight
.
This is quite timely as my panic attacks about food ebb and flow with my kids. And right now I’m on panic mode again, worried that they get too much bread in their diet and being extra cautious about processed or fast foods. I just want to be sure I’m maintaining that BALANCE. And I also want to be sure I’m guiding my kids to make the right choices whether I’m there or not. And I hope it’s not the standar American diet because I DO believe it bogs us down and drugs us- I hope that isnt too conspiracy theorist of me but that’s the mode I’m in now. However! My kids often buy their lunch at school and we totally gorged on Halloween candy. But the foundation of our meals and food choices are GOOD and that is why we can indulge when we do. I guess lately I’m feeling a sense of urgency to rein in my older boys’ food options and really teach them the whys and reasons instead of just telling them what to eat. Do I read labels neurotically? Yes. But I also have seen how thru diet, the gut and brain is connected. It’s hard to go back to being clueless before, but I’m thankful we are human and easy going about the little things.
If any of this makes sense! GREAT post.
Steph
I think Michael Pollan rocks!
There are lots of wonderful You Tube videos of him.
I love this 69 min. of him speaking as an author at the Google HQ.
Yeah, it’s 69 mins – loved every minute.
I love food. I want my family to love food, really TASTE food – the bold flavors, the subtle, the sweet. Our teenage is all about the sour – lol.
IMHO, it’s all about balance. We eat at a roadside hot doge stand on historic Route 66 one day, then have a chicken stirfry with lots of veggies the next.
I have no problem serving a pie made with lard. And, I have no problem sauteing in bacon. (But, it’s not every day.)
I like what Pollan says, “Eat what your great-grandmother would recognize as food.”
Amazing pirate display, BTW!
~
Oh!, I didn’t post the Michael Pollan video link in the above post!
It’s…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-t-7lTw6mA
~
Balance, that is the key for sure. I think being sensible about food is something we all need to get a grip on, but we can’t do that by criticizing others who aren’t making the same choices. Plus if we make a really big deal about “evil candy” that will only make the kids want to eat it even more! So they will start eating it in secret at friends’ houses or sneaking into the corner store to spend their allowance on high-fructose corn syrup-laden goodies. As long as we keep lots of healthy choices on the menu, we are surprised by how often those items get chosen.
Amen! You nailed it!
THIS is a food mantra I can get behind:
Eat as tradition, eat for taste, get to know your food, enjoy yourself.
Love this post! I have been both accused of being too lenient about nutrition in my house (we are all seriously addicted to Nutella) and also questioned for being too strict (I refuse to feed my son non-organic milk) so I totally get trying to make “good” choices without killing the natural, healthy, pleasure of eating. Thanks!
I couldn’t agree with you more! I am a mom and step mom, and I am always amazed at how extreme other moms (sometimes dads too, but usually it is moms) are about what goes into or onto their child. I hear all the time “I have a sweet tooth, but I won’t let my little one have any sugar.” or “He only eats organic.” In my experience and observation, it only makes the kids want what they can’t have.
I believe in all things moderation is the key. I don’t want my kids to eat high fructose corn syrup or GMOs or anything that is or could be bad for them. But it isn’t realistic and obsessing about it doesn’t make me a better mom. Savoring a treat or having a discussion with them about making healthy choices does.
Excellent post! I agree to everything you just said.
That dad sounds like a self-righteous dork in addition to being a douchebag.
He is going to embarass his kids when they’re older.
As a mom to a picky eater, who has food intolerance issues to boot, I have had to throw my previously-held food ideals out the window. And people criticize me for what I give my son to eat. I know they’re coming from a different place than I am.
I really wish I could just feed my child tasty and relatively-healthy food without reading every ingredient list. I wished he could have eaten Halloween candy. Many days, I just wish he would eat something. And I wish we would all just understand that nearly all of us are doing exactly the best we can right now and stop judging.
I wonder about how your hypercritical neighbor parents. Does he focus all of his parenting attention on what his child eats and doesn’t eat and judging others? Because you can’t make EVERYTHING important. Either a few things are important and everything else is just details, or NOTHING IS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT. And while eating well is important, eating HFCS (or Happy Meals, or what have you) is not a sin. I wonder if people like that are confusing right eating with right living.
This was an awesome post, and I am dumbstruck by your Halloween display!
I have actually thought a lot about this…how we can’t ALL make EVERYTHING our mission. We all have to pick things to focus on that are really important to us, but if we all chose the SAME things (say, food) then there would be no energy left to improve other areas of our lives…this is why I’m always saying that the word “values” does not imply judgment in my mind, because there’s simply no way we could all make every single thing important.
Great article! I completely agree, while organic whole foods are the best, I am not going to beat myself up over the occasional grocery store danish or peanut butter cup. I only have one life and I want to enjoy what I eat! My brother law is an extremely strict vegan and he is teaching his kids that all meat, dairy and processed foods are evil and deadly. At my son’s birthday party last year his oldest son had to sit and watch everyone eat cake and ice cream because his father did not want him to eat anything that might have artificial dyes (which the cake did not have). It was sad for all of us and my nephew that he could not even participate in a family party. I think my nephew’s relationship with food is going to be very bad when he is old enough to make his own choices.
Hi! First time commenter here, and I know I’m late to this post (I’m reading from the beginning to present day – LOVE your blog!). Anyway, I just wanted to add that I always ate the SAD (Standard American Diet) until my son was diagnosed with food intolerances and food allergies. Since I was still nursing him I had to change my eating habits immediately, and man! Was that ever hard to do! I started reading and learning about our foods and was shocked at some of the things I never knew. Frankly, I agree that the Halloween guy was a jerk; there is having an opinion and then there’s just being rude. However, there ARE some food substance type things that are just flat out bad for your health, and I don’t see anything wrong with teaching my kids that. I will, however, also will teach them to NOT be a jerk about it, because of someone is offering my child a meal it’s important to be gracious. Every now and then won’t kill any of us, I won’t prevent them from eating birthday cake at a friends party or enjoying a meal on vacation, but I don’t think it’s wrong to label bad foods as “bad”, either. Unhealthy is probably the same thing to many people, but I’m concerned that we generally are afraid to make a bold statement for fear of sounding judgmental…but aren’t we making judgements about what we feed our families? So I don’t feel we should shy away from putting clear-cut labels on whether something is “good”, “bad”, or “unhealthy”. After all, some foods aren’t “bad” for you, but they aren’t the healthiest choice. I think it’s important to be clear, is all. Anyway, my 2 cents. Love your blog and looking forward to reading more!
I totally agree! I try to avoid high fructose corn syrup, but do make some exceptions.
As someone who grew up not allowed to have ANY sugar unless it was the sugars that came from 100% fruit juice, my brothers and I would sneak candy and eat excessive amounts of it because it was forbidden, while friends of ours who were allowed to have it in moderation didn’t do that.
For me personally, the values we pass on to our kids about food and healthy eating are more important than the ingredients list in an individual snack or treat. I, like you, choose to vote with my dollars and set the foundation for what we buy at home for everyday meals and snacks: organic when it’s available/affordable, very little processed food, etc. When we’re at friends’ houses, at birthday parties, or wherever else food choices are not in our control, I’m about as laid-back as it gets. To me that doesn’t feel hypocritical – it totally makes sense.
After reading this post and the comments below, it is clear that this is a very debatable topic about which many people have passionate views. I just wanted to say that I appreciated reading your thoughts and took away from the article a nugget of reassurance in my own mothering. I am a first-time mommy, and my baby is almost six months old. Up until now, it has been easy for me to completely control his nutritional intake because I am exclusively breastfeeding – he eats whatever I eat, per se. However, we are entering the phase where I will start to introduce solid foods. I have been doing some research about baby foods and am interested in making/freezing food myself so that my baby’s exposure to chemicals and preservatives is at a minimum. I know that not everyone has the time or the resources to do that, though. That is my choice and every mommy and daddy has the right and responsibility to make their own choices for their family. It’s not my place to look down on or say something negative to someone else who doesn’t see things quite like I do. I’m not sure where I’ll stand when it comes to sweets and candy when my little buddy is older, but I know that I am a good mommy, and I know that I will figure it out. I appreciate your blog and your encouragement to young mommies like me!
Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar
one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam feedback?
If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.
Hello, just wanted to say, I enjoyed this post. It was inspiring.
Keep on posting!
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