Last week I announced that my bloggy buddy Jessica Ashley and I will be embarking on a month-long project called Back To You, helping moms remember to take care of themselves during the busy back-to-school season. Look out for Back To You posts several times a week now through October 4: there will be a bunch of fun giveaways, challenges and do-able activities to get you energized, refreshed and focused for fall.
School’s back in, and I’m back to real life and hoping you’ll join in as we get Back To You! To kick things off, I wanted to talk about morning routines – perhaps one of the most difficult things to overhaul during the school year, after we’ve gotten used to later nights and brighter morning wake-up calls.
And since we’re talking about mornings, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to delve into author, time-management expert and mom of three Laura Vanderkam’s ebook, What The Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: A Short Guide to Making Over Your Mornings— and Life.
To sweeten the pot, Laura and I are offering a cool giveaway! Two of you will win a morning makeover consultation from Laura herself (which will be published here!), plus a copy of the book.
While What The Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast does use some pretty high-profile people for examples of effective morning routines (like the CEO of Pepsi, for example), anyone can apply the advice to their lives. Its basic message, in a nutshell? Get up earlier, and use your time with intention.
If you’re like me, the very idea of getting up earlier sounds dreadful. I’d always considered myself a night owl: somebody who loves to burn the midnight oil. And since I’ve been blessed with kids who will sleep until 8 or 9 or even 10 AM if not woken, it was pretty easy for me to hang onto my teenage inner clock well into my adult years.
But a couple of years ago I came to realize that I was just fooling myself. I don’t do my best work after 5 or 6 PM or so, and I can barely think after 9 PM. So if I stay up late to finish a blog post or even to read, I’m not really focused, not really giving it my all…and I’m shorting myself on the other end; those quiet mornings I could use to prepare for the day, enjoy a second cup of tea, or just sit in silence for a little while before the day’s demands take over.
From the book:
Successful people have priorities they want to tackle, or things they like to do with their lives, and early mornings are the time when they have the most control of their schedules…the day can quickly get away from you as other people’s priorities invade—sometimes even those of the people you love dearly and share a home with.
So true. Pouring bowls of cereal, changing the first diaper, finding clothes, packing lunches, checking email as it starts to roll in around 8 or 9 AM…all those things are part of life, but if you haven’t had any time to think about how you’d like your day to go, it’s easy to get lost in a never-ending flow of urgent (or seemingly urgent) little details.
But the fact that I often get up later than I’d like has nothing to do with lack of desire. I know how much better I feel when I get up early. I know how much more productive I can be in those wee hours, how much calmer I feel when the kids get up, and how fantastic it feels to fall into bed at 9 PM barely able to keep my eyes open, knowing I’ve put in a full, happy day.
Knowing those things doesn’t always get me out from under the covers at first light, however.
If you aren’t a natural early riser, making the change takes self-discipline, which will eventually become habit After all, Laura argues, you don’t sit in the bathroom in the morning debating over whether or not you’re going to brush your teeth today; you just do it. If I can get myself up an hour earlier than usual to make my kids a big breakfast every now and then, why can’t I do that everyday?
The answer, of course, is that I can, I just have to want it badly enough. And once I make getting up earlier a habit, I need to find a way to use the time well so that I’ll have incentive to keep on going.
In her book, Laura offers a five-step plan for making over your morning. I’ll be taking ten or fifteen minutes to put this into practice tonight, and I hope you’ll join me!
1. Track Your Time
While Laura recommends tracking an entire 148-hour week to see how you’re really spending your time, I think you can start smaller. After all, it doesn’t take a ton of analysis to realize that if I stay up until 2 AM to finish that Game of Thrones book that I won’t be of much use at 6 AM (plus, I’ve been having some really freaky dreams about Theon Greyjoy.) I figure I need to be in bed by 9:30 PM and asleep by 10 PM to start the morning fresh, so I’m taking a close look at the way I’ve been spending my time after 9 PM to see what can get shuffled.
2. Picture the Perfect Morning
Ah, visualizing – one of my favorite activities! For me, the perfect morning would include a brisk walk, a solitary cup of tea, and a chance to read an interesting story or two before waking the kids. I’d be calm and well-prepared, with all school-related items (lunches, permission slips, etc) ready, and plenty of patience for sitting and talking with the kids over breakfast. After getting them out the door for school I’d be totally ready to attack my work day. Somehow, just typing all that out makes it seem much more possible.
3. Think Through the Logistics
This is the step where you figure out how to make the above happen. What are you currently doing with your morning hours? How much of it is necessary? What can get bumped to another time of day? Laura’s book has some great suggestions for working through the logistics of making room for what you want in your morning.
4. Build the Habit.
Ahh, this is always the hard part, isn’t it? Laura offers several techniques for making this part easier. Maybe you’ll ease into an earlier morning, setting your alarm for 15 minutes earlier each day until you reach your perfect wake-up time. Maybe you’ll add one new habit at a time or choose a fun activity to “pre-commit” to. Accountability works well for me: if there are enough of you who could use a friendly nudge, maybe we could meet up on Facebook for an early morning chat? Let me know in the comments and we’ll get it going!
5. Fine-Tune.
I love that Laura included this very necessary step. One of my biggest personal happiness rules is “don’t be afraid to change what isn’t working.” As your life changes, your morning routine may have to change with it…and that’s perfectly okay.
Feeling inspired? I’d love to hear about your perfect morning, and what steps you plan to take to get there. If you had an extra hour or two to do anything, how would you use it? What habits or other obstacles are getting in the way of a peaceful, productive morning? How could you most use Laura’s help if she chose you for a morning makeover?
Keep in mind that the winning makeovers will be published here, though you’re welcome to comment under a pseudonym. (If you want to join the conversation but aren’t interested in being considered for the morning makeover, just let us know.)
Comments will close on this post Friday, September 7 at 1 PM EST, and Laura will choose two winning entries next week. The makeover posts will be published later this month. Can’t wait to talk mornings with all of you!
Read other Back To You posts here!
My perfect morning would be me getting up and working out to Jillian’s 30 day shred then getting to kick my feet up have a cup of tea and breakfast while watching some morning news. Then a quick shower and get ready so that when my girls get out of bed at 7am I am not in the middle of still trying to get myself ready and I am prepared for helping them find breakfast or a missing tennis shoe. I would have time to empty the dishwasher and make sure that dinner items that need to be out for that night are thawing.
Oh it sounds so relaxing!
I am a firm believer that everything runs smoother when routines are established especially in the morning. I have three children 5 and under. Our morning runs well when I shower, dress, put on my face, and prepare breakfast before the small ones wake up. I do my best to have my daughter’s school bag, homework, and all school related stuff like snack and what not packed the night before. But if I had an extra hour, I’d dedicate it to a chore that I often start but never quite finish. When drawers, closets, counter surfaces, laundry, etc., are neat and orderly I too have an inner peace of order within myself.
While we don’t have kids attending school on a full time basis, we do have one starting pre-school one day a week this year, and after a leisurely summer, I know that my wife and I are a bit stressed. The nice thing is that we are starting small this year with just having to get ready one day a week. So we can practice and see what works and what doesn’t before having to do it everyday. I agree with the other commentator about having routines established and things ready the night before to make the morning go smoothly. As the husband, I know that I can do a lot as well to help make the morning go smoothly in making sure that I am helping out and being an engaged part of the process.
My perfect morning would involve me NOT going to my job away from the house, but let’s just take that as a given.
So my more realistic perfect morning would involve exercise and time to think and reflect, and possibly fold laundry, not just the Up-Clean-Dressed-AssembleThings-GetBaguetteOutTheDoor marathon that I run right now (more detail at http://tragicsandwich.com/2012/08/28/why-our-house-is-a-disaster-weekday/)
My perfect morning usually happens on a weekend when we don’t have to go to work. We’re able to lounge and not have to get dressed by any particular time.
I’ve been so bad about waking up early. I think it’s because I get so involved with stuff at night that I forget to sleep early (and therefore wake up early). For me, the best tip is building the habit. I just have to want it bad enough to build a habit.
My perfect morning includes ACTUALLY GETTING OUT OF THE BED when my body naturally wakes at 5/5:30 instead of hitting snooze a zillion times and not actually getting any additional rest and being late, too!
I need to be better about doing stuff the night before. Lay out clothes, pack my work bag, assemble lunches. I also need to start going to bed earlier so that getting up naturally and getting a decent amount of sleep are less mutually exclusive.
I would love to work out/wake up slower with my extra morning time.
I don’t sleep well – I have a hard time getting to sleep (mind racing, cant relax) AND staying asleep (mom instincts?). I know that doing stuff ahead of time and going to bed at a reasonable hour would help.
What I most need help with is accountability and help defending the necessary changes to my husband (he sleeps like a robot – instantly and continuously – so he doesn’t get how hard this is).
My perfect morning would be to back up my wake up to 6am every single day. To use that time to eat breakfast and do my 3 morning chores (make my bed, do a load of laundry, and unload the dishwasher). If I could do all of that during the 6am hour then the 7am hour could be spent getting my kids out the door then the rest of my morning hours could be spent getting my training in for my half Ironman. I hate starting my day unorganized and having to do my workouts in the afternoon/evening. I need that time for making dinner & checking homework (and unwinding, don’t ya know?)
Perfect morning…children get up on their own, dress themselves, brush their teeth and hair THEMSELVES. Might be asking a bit much since they are only 3 and 4.5! Maybe just a morning where I help them do those things and they are cooperative. Then drop off at daycare, starbucks and start my day. Right now I am out of work, but hopefully going back soon…in the meantime I have a few projects at home I want to work on!
This book looks great. My perfect morning would be sleeping in until a reasonable hour, working out, then blogging while eating a nice, yummy and healthy breakfast. My two-year-old would get himself dressed and make his breakfast himself. Ahh how nice that would be!
I’m trying to figure out my perfect morning, but am paralyzed by what I think I should do (write and exercise, but it’s dark and there are bears around this time of year, and get everyone ready for the day), and what I want to do (write and exercise and be totally ready for the day). As you can see, they are the same, but I keep coming up with excuses or addictions (FB and my reader) that waste my time and prevent me from being as ready and available as I should be. Help!
I’ll pass on a makeover entry.
BUT, I just wanted to say that I was never much of a morning person before I had kids. (Was never much of a night owl either, to be fair, but never a morning person either)! Necessity is the mother of invention.
I do believe that you can train your body to wake up earlier (helps to go to sleep earlier). & I have come to find I am more productive and fresh first thing in the morning (before any and all distractions, indeed). Same for earlier in the week. Weekends are nice to recharge batteries.
Whoops–I meant to post here, not on FB.
Hey Meagan, what time do you usually go to bed at night?
I, too, would like to wake up earlier, but I don’t want to go to bed earlier than I already do. That’s the time I spend with my husband!
My perfect morning routine would begin with a quiet cup of coffee by myself…but that never happens because the boys wake up the MINUTE they hear someone else up. And there’s no way to get downstairs without the floors squeaking (our house was built in 1926). (Hmmmm…maybe I can get a Keurig for the CARPETED bedroom…)
As long as I get up on time, have 2 cups of coffee and read something inspirational, the morning is ok. I can accomplish all this while the kids watch 1 half-hour show (full disclosure). I definitely set up the night before – make coffee & milk cups, clean kitchen, just started Kindergartener laying out clothes since he is the first off. The problem is when I can’t find anything really inspirational to read. If I waste in on FB or bad blogs then I am unsatisfied. Kristin Armstrong’s blog http://www.milemarkers.runnersworld.com or daily bible readings are sure bets.
I don’t try to work out or write before getting everyone off for the day. If I did try I would drive myself crazy. I know I can do that after they leave/take them to the gym day care to work out, so why fight it? If the younger ones don’t go to school, consider a mother’s helper. Even $40/week can equal sanity for you and your husband.
I think part of my problem with mornings is that I can’t really visualize “perfect”. Sure, I’d like to be calm and get where we need to go punctually. I’d like to be showered and dressed nicely. It would even be awesome to have some time to exercise (since I never seem to find another time for it) or do something that I enjoy like read a book, go out in the garden, or write on my blog. But, I really like snuggling next to my lovey and I am usually bone-tired, so I don’t force myself out of bed until I absolutely have to.
My perfect morning would start with a mommy and baby jog around the neighborhood with one of those cool jogging strollers. We would get back and have breakfast. My perfect morning would be peaceful. I wouldn’t touch anything until she took her afternoon nap. I would totally enjoy the wakening of the day.
My perfect morning actually starts the evening before. I’m a huge fan of getting as much done as possible the night prior: packing lunches, social media scheduled so I don’t have to be on the computer first thing when my kids get up, clothes laid out, etc.
This also allows me to sleep in a bit (like uh, an extra 15 minutes, sadly) because I like to stay up late and have some quiet down time. And it means I only have to focus on making breakfast, getting the kids dressed, and getting out the door, which as you know Meagan, is no small feat when you’ve got 4 kids.
I was waking up earlier than my kids before school started, and will most likely start doing that again as well. I just need to go to be earlier too!
PS. That was just a comment, not an entry
In a busy household such as hours (I am a stay at home mom of 2 which at times feel like 4), carving out time for myself to feed myself both emotional, physically and spiritually is a must in order for my family to see happy mommy more times than not. I have always said that I feel like I am directing a play, helping the actors navigate a stage, lighting there way, but never one to take center stage. Over the last couple of years, I have worked to claim some part of the day for me and early mornings is it! In order for me to have MY TIME, there is a lot of organization that begins on a Sunday evening when I sit down to plan out the weeks menus (breakfast/dinner), kid’s activities, my workouts and work/tasks that need to be completed by weeks end. With this schedule in hand, I know what needs to be prepped the night before–from setting the breakfast counter, to packing certain snacks and lunch items and if feeding a warm breakfast such as pancakes the kids, preparing the mix the night before. Early to bed is also a must to make sure I get a restful sleep and so that ugly mommy does not make an appearance the next day. Unfortunately, it does not allow for a lot of adult time but we are working on fixing this part of our household. I do all this to ensure my morning is mine as well as to keep my sanity! So assuming all the props are in place and the players know their parts, a perfect morning for me could be either of the following: 1) Rise at 5:15 a.m. and head out for a run. The rhythm of my breath and my feet hitting the pavement place me in a meditative trance where I am able to see things clearly, know how I am going to attack the day and/or tasks. The endorphins leave me energized and happy, helping to get my kids up, fed and out the door with a smile. It’s just a great start to the day for everyone. 2) Early rise, a cup of tea and sitting in front the computer to write/reflect. The early morning is when my mind is most clear and uncluttered by all the noise the day of a mom and/or professional brings. It’s when I see things most clearly, when I am most creative and productive. It may only be an hour or so, but it’s my time to figure out the next act of my play. One day, and I suspect sometime soon, my organization, planning and early mornings will allow me to stand in the spotlight.
I would love to be able to run in the mornings, but my husband is commuting 2 hours each way for work right now. That puts me in for every morning duty with our 4 year old. I’ve been better about laying out clothes for both of us and packing his lunch. I would love to have a little productive me-time in the morning: 30 minutes blogging, strength training or yoga (since I can’t leave the house for a run), or even reading. I just need the motivation.
I had visions of productive mornings once school started for the kids. Yeah, it’s been a week, and I’ve yet to see that productiveness. I would like to get up early, write two to three posts and go for a walk with my daughter. That’s been my goal. My pillow keeps sabotaging it.
THanks again for removing the facebook comment for me. Or trying.
My perfect morning starts the night before when I clean up the kitchen after dinner, because I often don’t and then regret it. It also has me going to bed at an hour where I get 8 hours of sleep. WAking up early without effort so I can get my morning trip to the gym in makes me one happy mama. And then arriving home to a still sleeping house so I can go potty, make my coffee, and say by to my hubby. Then if the boys come down and empty the dishwasher, their ticket to a hot breakfast, and then get themselves morning without whining would be brilliant. Getting ready for them means getting dressed, brushing teeth, and reading their allotted time. Then they ahve a chance of a cartoon – which I try not to do. Ideal mornings happen every once in a blue moon but when they do – heaven. I would love to win your drawing.
My perfect morning would involve a little me time. I go all day without any and even carving out 20 minutes to exercise, read, or I would love to start meditation would be wonderful. My one year old seems to wake up within five minutes of me no matter what time I set the alarm for! My 4 and 6 year olds have a decent routine in place but we still run out the door at 8am. I would love to grow more patience and not be so hard on myself when things go awry.
Perfect morning–
I wake up to pee at 6:45am on my own (no alarm). Kids come in at 7am to snuggle. Get up at 7:30 to go down and make breakfast. No rushing or hurrying to get anywhere. (Maybe I should homeschool.)
Having a makeover published! That is accountability!
My perfect routine would include putting my contacts in, drinking coffee, getting dressed and reading my bible before the kids get up. My children wake up at a different times each day so I may think I’m getting up way before them and surprise! They are coming down the stairs 5 minutes after me.
Also, I would like the kitchen clean, lunches packed, shoes located, clothes picked out and school papers in the backpacks before bed.
Great post.
I already get up pretty early, but struggle with prioritizing which interesting (or mundane!) task to tackle first. I’ve got lots to do, and lots I want to do, and those things seem to compete with each other. Anyhow, would love to win her ebook, I’ve been wanting to read it!
Hmmmm a perfect morning… I would say it would need to include having enough time to pray and read, drink a little coffee, and have a light breakfast (can we hire up a short-order cook, since we’re talking “perfect”? ha!). And then just time with my kids and husband to snuggle and chat before we all have to head off to the “real” world which for us includes jobs, volunteers activities, Kindergarten, and preschool, and sometimes nothing more than staying home and playing
Thanks for the great comments, everyone! I’m closing entries on this now, and will let you know via email if your post was selected.
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